


The Tales of the Dovahkiin

by TheNineTailedFox



Series: Adventures of Skyrim [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Funky Timeline, Gen, Ships will be added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-04 15:31:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5339267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNineTailedFox/pseuds/TheNineTailedFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair Farseer is blessed by the Divines - the chosen champion - Dovahkiin.</p><p>This follows the story of Alistair Farseer - the woman who stepped out of time - who must now choose between the fate of the world she came to love and the man who helped her fall in love with it. Follow her on her journey to fulfil her prophecy.</p><p>Hiatus</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Since the time of his birth, Alduin did not like mortals. They are weak, fickle, greedy, and hateful creatures that he believed should not breathe the same air as him. In the very beginning, he thought them to be on the same level as bugs, far beneath him as he soared through the skies. However, when mortals began to worship himself and his brothers – his arrogance, ego, and his pride spiraled out of control.

After a time, his disdain for mortals became more and more pronounced. He did not understand why they existed. They were foolish and seem to be favored almost as much as himself. Although, in all the time he lived and as much as he hated mortals, there had only ever been one mortal that he could be in the same room as.

A Halfling – Alistair Farseer – who had been born from the most unlikely of parents. An Atmoran man who’d been part of the five-hundred of Ysgramor and a snow elf. From what they discovered, her parents fell in love sometime after her mother had been captured. Her mother had spent a lot of time in an Atmoran camp where they were sending her to a city to become a servant – more like a slave. At first Alistair said that her parents hated one another – they were after all sworn enemies – but that would not last. Her father discovered the reason for her wanted capture, she’d been defending her pregnant sister when their village had been attacked. In that moment in time Alistair said that her father began to question his people’s motives and their honor. He knew that in the beginning they were only defending their kin – but now? Now it had become genocide. Alistair said that he helped her mother escape and convinced her to join him in his travel to the south. And after a few months Alistair had been conceived.

After eight years, Paarthunax found her and took pity as he brought her with him to Skuldafn as a safe haven for her. Alduin had been livid that Paarthunax would bring a mortal girl into his home, but soon after a few nights she asked Alduin about dreams. At first he brushed her off and tried to leave, but she started describing her dreams. These dreams were of her sailing with someone on a long boat and when the person spoke to her, she could not understand the words he said for he spoke the language of dragons. After much discussion with the child he managed to narrow the lights to what he assumed to be stars. As for the creature who spoke to her, he had a feeling who it happened to be.

That had been confirmed a few days after her confession, Alduin had a dream. A similar dream to the one the mortal described, except he did not sail, he stood atop the strange water facing the man who invaded the mortals dreams. It was his Father, Akatosh. He spoke to Alduin with a grave tone, telling him that he wanted Alduin to take charge of the mortal and learn from her. This angered Alduin. What could he learn from a human girl that he already knew himself? His initial irritation with the mortal boiled into pure hatred for the weak child.

Alduin would never understand the love and favor his Father showed to the specific mortal, but he would respect his wishes. He found a way around his Father’s wishes however, to keep his Father appeased he would eat with the child every other weak – keeping her at arms length while still making sure that the child was safe in Skuldafn. His distance caused the young mortal to seek company from the other Dovah who visited Skuldafn to rest their weary wings. In the beginning of her attempts went unnoticed – for the most part – not many bothered with her but some discussed her polite manners and honest words entwined with the ability to keep up with their conversations so long as it stayed in her tongue. Alduin noticed that she managed to grow close to three Dovah along with very few mortals that stayed to keep the Temple clean and well-kept.

One particular Dov she grew close with just so happened to be one of his younger brothers. Perhaps even the most fool-hearty, Odahviing. Not soon after her time in Skuldafn began, Alistair Farseer showed signs of being more than just an oracle given to Alduin as an act of good fortune. Odahviing came to Skuldafn after foolishly fighting Akaviri and almost temporarily getting himself killed. When the other Dov asked if he needed healing attention, he shrugged them off and that set the young mortal off. This seem to have triggered the Thu’um that rested deep with in her soul as she “shouted” in their tongue for his foolish actions and told him to get help.

It would appear that not only had this mortal been blessed with foresight by his Father, but it would also seem that this mortal truly had been favored above many mortals by his Father – chosen as a Champion – for she was Dovahkiin.

In all of his years, never had he hated a creature more than he hated her. Alduin had showed his disdain for her and kept her at arms length, but this time, he became venomously disgusted with the mortal. However, Alistair never once showed any spite or malice towards Alduin in return for his putrid comments and vulgar words. She would let out a shaky breath and show him a small timid smile at the glowering God-King. Not once did she shy away from his burning gaze nor did she shudder at his constant threats. No. No, the mortal only ever smiled at him.

Alduin never understood how she could be so kind to him, regardless of how he treated her. He chalked it up to the innocence of children. Even still, mortal children had their limits as well. Especially since she was a child. Through all his time he spent thinking of why the mortal did not act angry towards him, he still did not understand this mortal child, nor did he try – not for many months. At some point he decided to leave her in the care of Paarthunax and only checked on her when she had a vision. However, not long after her stay, she had been taken by Reachmen close to Paarthunax’ Temple. They’d somehow learned that she had the ability of foresight.

At first Alduin felt as though he did not care. However, he began to notice her absence and he realized just how much that foolish mortal had taken precedent in his life. She had become a regular face – and though he would never admit to any living creature – she had become a welcomed one. Slowly as time went on, he found himself yearning for that tiny shadow at his side.

He missed the childishly naïve smiles and the tiny voice she spoke in.

He missed the honesty and sincerity in which she spoke every word with.

He hated to admit but he even missed the way she’d play with his scales whenever she thought he’d fallen asleep.

He missed hearing the fairy tales she told to Odahviing and any other’s who would listen.

He missed the silly songs she hummed and the laughter that filled his normally isolated gardens.

Alduin – for the first time in his life – felt himself yearning for something he’d lost.

He truly missed that mortal, and he would get her back.

Alduin remembered that day clearer than most in his memories. He remembered how angry he had been and how it fueled the power of his Thu’um immensely. He spilled a great deal of Reachmens blood that day, vowing to eradicate the entire camp. He cared not for mercy or the destruction he caused, he only cared of retrieving Alistair. Alduin remembered how his heart clenched the stronger her scent became, he never felt this emotion before, because another scent had mixed with hers…the scent of blood. He remembered finding her tied up in a cage – like an animal – and for the first time the girl had entered his life he did not see her smiling. He did not see the glow of happiness coloring her cheeks. He did not hear the soft, secretive giggle that would greet him whenever he came into view. Her mismatched eyes were filled with absolute terror and her once long navy locks were chopped into uneven strands. Her once porcelain face now held a claw like scar that were still angry and puckered. He remembered the relief and the tears that spilled from her eyes when she saw his face, how she attempted to move and get closer, desperate to be closer. Alduin did not bother looking for keys, he tore the door from the hinges and held her fast. Never in his life had he been so quick to comfort any other creature. He made sure not to harm her as he removed the binds, and he reassured her gently that he would never allow this to happen to her again. He made sure she did not see any of the gore he created as he left and returned to Skuldafn.

Alduin recalled that day being the first day he blamed himself for anything. Had he kept her at Skuldafn she never would have been harmed. Had he never placed her in the care of Paarthunax, that smile would still be there. That glow never would have darkened. The childish innocence that her eyes lit up with would never have been damaged. Once they returned, he ensured that she healed fully and properly.

It took many days and weeks for her to open up about what happened in that godforsaken fortress. They had been sitting in her permanent room, one of the much larger ones. He did his best to spend more time with her for her sake as well as his own. He found himself worrying more often for the child – wondering if she was alright or if she went through flashbacks. As routine, he sat in one of the large armchair’s reading, waiting for her to fall asleep and then he would put her in her bed and leave. Occasionally returning to ensure she slept peacefully. Alistair had started to mimic Alduin’s actions and read the same book while she lounged at his feet in the many soft furs that rested near the large fireplace that warmed the room with its roaring fire. She spoke very softly at first – telling Alduin slowly what had occurred in her absence. Though Alduin could not see her face, he heard the waver in her voice and the tightening of her fists. Alduin felt a strange twinge in his heart once more and for the first time, found himself asking for a mortal’s forgiveness. Although he did not feel as embarrassed asking Alistair for forgiveness for she was Dovahkiin – his kind stuck in the form of man.

Alistair smiled that time, the biggest smile he’d seen in a very long time. She said there had been nothing to forgive for had she not went for her walk without an escort, she never would have been taken. But still, Alduin wanted her forgiveness. He had been nothing but cruel to this poor girl and in return she had been nothing but patient and kind. She truly had the purest heart any creature he had ever seen or met in his whole life.

Alistair forgave him and time went on.

It did not take long for Alduin decide on the temple where Alistair would be permanently staying. She would stay at his side, in Skuldafn, away from the world and only venturing out when he did. Though she reassured Alduin it did not matter, for she never felt alone, she spoke with many Dovah who came to the temple for rest or social gatherings. After one gathering, Alistair seemed very disturbed. When Alduin asked her if something was the matter, she asked if she could learn their language. She explained her desire to speak with other Dovah properly. She told Alduin that she thought that Dovahzhul sounded strangely beautiful and that she felt it necessary for her to speak it. Paarthunax offered his aid as penance for his failure to keep Alistair safe, not long after, Alduin agreed.

She had been a very diligent and a stellar student. Alduin would be a liar if he denied his pride for Alistair. Not only did she learn how to speak the language of Dov, but she properly learned how to use their shouts. He found himself playfully testing her and constantly speaking in his mother tongue around her. He could barely believe that Dovahzhul had not been her first language considering her fluency and ability to easily decipher the rushed words. Alistair began to participate in debates and long conversations. The Dov often spoke of Alduin going soft and others were just as infatuated with Alistair as Alduin.

Soon after her eleventh birth day, she insisted on learning magic after listening to a tale form one of the priests. She wanted to learn from one of the new forming orders from the Psijic Order and after another tale from one of the joore kendov (mortal warriors) she begged Alduin to learn swordplay from the legendary Companions. Alduin said no – fearing for her safety – but after a very long tale with Paarthunax and Nahagliiv, Alduin finally agreed to her learning magic first.

With the help of Paarthunax they found a fairly willing teacher from the Psijic Order, Irmandil Adire, a rather prudish Altmer who Alduin had doubts of – but swore that she would take care of Alistair. Alduin knew full well that should something happen to Alistair, he would know, and this time…he would be there.

Alistair spent two years with Irmandil traveling all over the new forming Tamriel. Alistair sent Alduin many letters, along with a few other Dovah who she’d gotten close with over the years, telling them of people she met and new spells she learned. At one point her letters ceased for a time and Alduin began to get nervous – reaching out with his mind to ensure that Alistair still lived. However, one day Alduin heard his name being summoned from the bottom of the mountain. Sure enough Alistair sat on a rock nearby with arms folded and legs crossed. Alduin could not help a small smile cross his face. Thankfully he still stood in his true form which kept the smile from showing.

Irmandil stood nearby and nodded to Alduin as she gave Alistair a very long hug. She murmured something carefully into the younger girl’s ear and gave her a small kiss on her forehead before she left on horseback. Alduin felt comfortable to transform into his mortal form and inquired Alistair what Irmandil said. She gave a mischievous smile and put a finger over her lip – she said that it was a secret between Irmandil and herself. He found it rather irritating but lived with what she said. Alistair spent the next few months in Skuldafn excitedly talking to anyone who would listen to her about the outside world. She expressed that her favorite part of the whole journey had been when her and Irmandil camped out near the ocean for a long period. She liked the smell and the sounds that went with the ocean – the feeling of peace she found there made her miss it. As a surprise Alduin started to take her there as a way to change the scenery when they took evening walks. Skuldafn was not very far from the shore anyway.

Once Alistair started to settle back into routine, she spoke about the Companions and that she actually met the man who started them, Ysgramor. Apparently when talking to the Companions – no woman had yet joined them nor anyone as young as Alistair. She told Ysgramor had laughed in her face and told her that she wouldn’t even pass his first tests. That story sparked a fire in Alistair’s eyes that Alduin had not seen before.

In those few moments, Alduin knew that the child that was brought to him at the age of eight had begun growing at a rate he…did not quite like. Alistair said that she wanted to follow her Father’s footsteps and that she wanted to prove to Ysgramor and other Companions that a female can do just as well in battle. Apparently she found a challenge and would go succeed, with or without Alduin’s acceptance.

When they first say and spoke about it, Alduin denied her. He feared that if Ysgramor knew her heritage he would seek her death. However, it would seem that the blood of the Dov ran much deeper than Alduin originally thought. Alistair showed signs of stubbornness that her younger years never gave him. Alduin dismissed it and thought it trivial. He often argued with Alistair about her childishness and her sudden disobedience. With the help of Paarthunax, Alduin finally agreed to let Alistair leave the temple once more.

Just as she sent letters when traveling with the mage Irmandil Adire, she sent letters again from Jorrvaskr. At first the letters were just to keep Alduin up to date with her progression. Slowly the letters became more in depth of the hardships she endured.

Apparently, Ysgramor pushed her much harder than his other trainee’s. Not only was she the only female there, but she was also still only at the age of thirteen. Alduin felt enraged and he wanted to go teach the foolish man who had true superiority to Ysgramor and his kin, however Alistair always signed off every letter that she was fine and more than up to the challenge. She had told Alduin she could not wait to rub it in Ysgramor’s face when she did not fail his test nor did she falter in her the rigorous training he gave to her and so Alduin waited for her return – soon he turned his attention to the mortals who were beginning to worship the other Dov. Though he did enjoy the mortals praising him as a God-King, Alduin still felt that he did not need to speak directly with joore. So he founded Dragon Priests to do the ruling for him.

After two years, Alistair returned to Skuldafn once more. She Shouted to the skies once more, summoning Alduin. He landed not mere feet from her and he morphed to man so he could tease her of her absence but when his eyes met hers, he no longer had words to speak.

No longer did the child of just eight years stand timidly before him. No…a confident and blossoming woman of sixteen years now stood before Alduin with the same smile she greeted him with all those years ago – but it held more life this time. The world had changed his Alistair in more ways than one.

In a way, Alduin felt wrong for craving her flesh. He had known her since she was a cub. Practically raised her at one point, he felt that he should not feel such attraction for the young woman…but he could not help his desires.

Once taken back to Skuldafn she spoke of her travels and her battles. She swapped stories with older Dov who seemed to have finally accepted Alistair as one of their own. She smiled widely at them all as she spoke of her deeds and her love of fighting. She did however mention she much preferred the language of Dov to her mother tongue, which pleased Alduin greatly.

Everything fell back to the way it should have been for a long time. Alistair became Alduin’s shadow once more only this time she seemed more at ease with others around her. No longer did she merely listen in conversation nor did she stand back and let others speak over her. She had become more hardy and spirited like most of the other Dovah. Alduin found he did not mind this, rather, he found that this suited her more than having her nose stuck in a book all day. He liked this Alistair just as much as the one he used to know.

Alduin found himself getting very protective over Alistair whenever one of the guards of Skuldafn showed signs of interest and he almost internally exploded when Miraak – his head Priest – kissed her hand. Before Alduin had a chance to react, Alistair broke his nose. To say the least…Alistair received no punishment for such actions. Once in the privacy of a different chamber, Alduin made it very clear to Miraak that Alistair was off limits to him and everyone else.

For quite some time Alduin felt at peace going for walks with Alistair, he occasionally sparred with her both by Thu’um and by sword. However, such peace would not last. One night Alistair came stumbling into his chambers one night, her eyes seeped fresh blood by a new vision. When he asked what she saw – her words were incoherent and a jumbled mess. Not even minutes after her words she passed out. Alduin did not return her to her chambers but kept her next to him, waiting for her to wake up.

After waking Alduin tried to speak with her again. She looked so sad and did not speak for a very long time – he was patient. He could wait.

Soon Alistair started to explain her vision. She told Alduin that she would be asked to join the five-hundred on one last mission back to their native lands to retrieve relics and people that may have not made it to the boats. She explained that when she goes and she would go…her future vanishes. Leaving her to believe that she would die on that mission.

Alduin tried to tell her that she could not go. That she should not. She had no ties to those people. She owed them nothing. Alistair explained that this would happen one way or the other and that Alduin could not prevent it. She had her own will, but what she failed to tell him, was that this was the will of Akatosh. Her time would come the day she turned eighteen.

For an entire month…Alduin refused to see her. He refused her company. He did not understand why she would be so willing to die for those people. Part of him wanted to fly to Jorrvaskr and demolish it from the face of the planet, effectively eliminating the danger. Alduin wanted nothing more than to lock Alistair in her chambers until her birthday ended. However, Alduin knew better than most, fates could not be changed. If Alistair saw her future end – it would happen then or later.

After his reluctant acceptance he went to see her. Alistair’s health had declined, since his departure from her side, she had refused meals and kept herself shut out from the others. Alduin felt responsible and nursed her to health, hoping that the strength would help her to work around her supposed faith.

Alduin decided, if she would be leaving his side, Alduin wanted as many memories of her as he could have before Father ripped her away from him. He become more willing to her affectionate hugs and returned the affection far more than he ever had. If Alistair ever noticed such changes in her beloved Dovah, she made no intention of letting him know. Weeks flew by and Alduin never felt more happy…and yet more at loss. He knew he would be losing her and he knew that it would hurt him no matter how hard he tried to block his emotions. Perhaps in the beginning he would not have cared what happened to Alistair…but now? Now was a very different story than before. She gave him such emotions that he never truly comprehended before. Alistair showed him purity, determination, courage, selflessness, kindness, and a tenderness to his brothers he had never witness before.

Perhaps…perhaps he loved Alistair…the mortal Dovahkiin.

Alistair only told this information to only a few other Dov. Alduin, Paarthunax, Odahviing, Nahagliiv, and one guard who had been the same age as her when she arrived at Skuldafn. A few days of her birth date, Paarthunax and Nahagliiv insisted on throwing a very large celebration for her. At the request of Alduin, Irmandil Adire had been tracked down and invited to Skuldafn for her students naming day. It had been a surprise for Alistair – so when Irmandil arrived her face had lit up so suddenly and Alistair charged at her in a tackling hug. Irmandil in return smiled widely and nodded towards Alduin who watched the exchange.

Alduin had been pleased with her smile and left her to let her catch up with her mentor more privately. Irmandil however, insisted on Alduin joining them, seeing as though she had a motive. She did. At some point in there walk, Alistair stopped to look closer at a few flowers and Irmandil leaned over and offhandedly telling Alduin that she’d never seen Alistair act so carefree with others than with Alduin. That made the both of them go off on a tangent, speaking quietly to each other of stories they had of Alistair. Both smiling and forming a small bond off of Alistair.

At some point – Alduin left to ensure the plans were going smoothly. As he watched them for a few more minutes, he smirked. He had hoped Alistair would not request Ysgramor’s presence, which she did not. Alduin made sure she would not be reminded of her other mentor, Alduin was sure that he would not be able to stand his presence. That man would be the end of his Alistair. How could he even sit at the same table?

In those last days, many Dovah showed their favor and spent a great deal of time with Alistair – they knew something was amiss with the eldest as well as with the normally bright Dovahkiin.

That night, when all went to sleep or to rest, Alduin found himself unable to do either. A few hours of reading to pass the time, he heard a knock at his door. When he opened it up, Alistair stood there with a small smile. She explained to him that she did not want to be alone, that night Alistair slept in Alduin’s bed while he continued reading and watching over her dreams.

The next morning they received word that Ysgramor asked for Alistair’s aid…to return to his homeland and get what they could. Alduin wanted to keep her there, with him. But Alistair said she would go with or without him. So, Alduin decided to take her to Windhelm himself. Their flight had been silent.

Once they came closer to the city, Alduin transformed and wrapped a dark burlap cloak Alistair brought with her to hide his tail and horns. The silence still followed them both, Alduin’s feet felt like it became heavier the closer they got to the city gates. He noticed how hard Alistair gripped her bags strap. Within minutes, they stood at the docks. Alistair had been greeted quite a few times while passing through the wintery city.

Standing there, Alistair stared at their feet as Alduin looked wrathfully towards the boat that would send his Alistair to her death. “Alduin,” Her questioning tone brought his eyes to meet hers once more. He raised a brow, curious to her sudden words. “Will you miss me?” He had not been expecting that.

“Why would you ask such a foolish question,” His tone came out much rougher than he meant it to be.

“Sorry…silly of me…” Her tone came out rather dejected. Alduin paused and watched as she turned to go on the boat. Alduin took in a deep breath – his heart leaping from his chest – and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to turn back around. Her eyes were very wide.

“It is not…I did not mean…Alis I will miss you,” Alduin grimaced as the words left his mouth. In truth he just did not want to finalize their goodbye. He wanted her to stay at his side, for as long as her life span would allow. He wanted her company, he just never managed to bring himself to tell her. “Alistair…you do not have to do this.” He pleaded quietly, pulling her closer to him.

She grinned, but her eyes told another story. He saw how watery they were becoming. “Yes…I do Alduin. I’ve no choice in this,” Her eyes bore pleadingly into his. Almost begging him to let her go peacefully. “Anyway, why did you look like you just ate a deathbell admitting you’ll miss me?” She laughed, sounding forced but this was Alistair’s way. Changing the topics to something more humorous.

Alduin sighed heavily. “It is difficult…for me to admit such.”

“Why? It is not for me,” Alduin glared briefly at Alistair and tugged her a bit further towards the wall, away from the dock and prying eyes of those boarding the boats. Alduin glared at someone who began to approach and paused when the man met his eyes.

“You have yet to admit anything, mal dovah (little dragon).” Alduin pointed out smugly. She paused and looked up at him with a contemplative look.

“I haven’t, have I?” Alistair laughed and took his hands into hers. Her smile slowly faded and turned into a very thin line. Her brows furrowed over her mistmatched eyes as she stared at their entwined hands.

“You…do not have to say more…” Alduin muttered quietly, turning to watch those who in turn watched them. He turned his head to say more, but when he did he felt something warm press against the corner of his lip. He blinked in utter surprise to see Alistair with a similar look upon her face. She jumped back with her hand covering her mouth. A bright red rose from her neck and spread over her face.

“I-I didn’t mean to! It was…I mean…I tried to kiss you cheek, but…but you turned your head before I could…oh dear…I’m sorry,” Alistair blubbered with her hands waving in front of her. She stared at her feet as she spoke wildly. Alduin watched her for a time, a small smile crossing his face. He carefully moved and stopped in front of her, he waited for her rant to end and when it did she looked up with shock and horror. Alduin gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her carefully into an embrace. He felt her breath hitch as he slowly wrapped his arms tightly around her giving her enough time to step away – should she wish to.

Alduin pressed his face into the crook of her neck taking in a deep breath of her scent. He would miss this scent. She smelled like fresh flowers and juniper berries. Always so sweet with a hint of a tang. Hesitantly she returned his embrace. She let out a sigh and settled deeper into his hold. “…love you…” Alduin heard the soft murmur. He froze instantly, that had not been something he expected.

He paused for a moment, a smirk slowly forming on his face. “Unt ontzos (say again) – I did not hear you.” Alduin nuzzled her navy locks as he waited for her to speak again. He felt her squirm in his arms and his smirk widened.

She pulled away slightly, her forehead resting against his chest. “I…I…love you…” She buried her face into his chest once more. However, he wanted to hear those words again.

“Zuvir hinmaar (repeat yourself).” Alduin pulled away from Alistair and tilted her chin up. Her face still held that bright red ting and she would not look him in his eyes. Her lower lip quivered slightly and she took another deep breath. Her eyes shut tightly.

“I love you.” She said it so surely that Alduin just stared at her.

“Open your eyes,” Alduin commanded, her eyes slowly rose to meet his. She seemed to become so timid with those three words. “Zu’u lokaal hi.” Alistair’s eyes widened considerably as she watched Alduin with suddenly guarded eyes – a hint of playfulness in her eyes.

“You are not lying?” Alduin paused, somewhat offended by her question.

“I would not lie about such things.” Alduin stared at Alistair with a burning gaze. It would be foolish to lie of such things, Alduin felt annoyed that she would even think he would lie to her. Alistair shifted her weight unable to look away from his gaze.

“I only ask…because…well…you’ve known me since I was a cub. For all I know, the love that you speak of is nothing more than a caretaker would have for said child.” Alistair let her hands rest on his wide chest. Her eyes followed her fingers as she picked small pieces of fuzz from Alduin’s robes. Alduin watched her with narrowed eyes – he supposed that her thought process was logical.

“Alistair,” Alduin began with a heavy sigh. Her head moved slightly but she still did not look up at him. “I have never once considered myself your caretaker. Paarthunax had the joys of such a title. I thought of you as a child – nothing more, nothing less. However…in…more recent years…that has changed. I no longer see a timid child standing before me. I now see a young woman who has braved many deeds.” Alistair looked up at him when he abruptly stopped. Alduin glared back out at the boat. This truly harder than he thought it would be.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” His head snapped back to stare at Alistair who had a cheeky smile plastered on her face. She got on her tiptoes so her face became a bit closer to his. Alduin stared – both in surprise and irritation – she knew this was difficult for him to admit why make it harder? She brushed her body to his – shocking Alduin even more – the grin widened even more so. She knew what she was doing. Alduin brought his hands to cradle Alistair’s face and before she could speak he gave her a true kiss. He did his best to keep his sharpened teeth from grazing her delicate lips or for his claws to scratch her beloved face.

He pulled away and Alistair watched him through lidded eyes. Her dark lashes brushing against her perfect cheeks. Snow started to cling to her hair – seeming to crystalize her hair. The blush had slowly returned to the tops of her cheeks.

“I will not repeat myself.” Alduin murmured gently. Alistair blinked once then twice. A pout formed on her face, Alduin noticed her eyes began to water as she cupped her hands over his. She leaned into his hand taking in deep breaths,

“Just one last time? Please?” Alduin furrowed his brows as he watched her face change, her eyes glancing over to the boat beside them. He looked over and saw a very large man approaching them. Only a head shorter than Alduin. He held her tighter, bringing her closer.

“Zu’u lokaal hi.” Alduin murmured quickly. He felt her shoulders shake and her hands tighten into his tunic. He felt himself growl as the foreign scent infiltrated his senses.

“Lass, time to go.” A thick accent resounded beside them. Alduin did not let her go, even when she pulled away.

“Alduin,” She whispered quietly. He felt a build-up in her magicka. She would not give him the chance to bring her back to Skuldafn…he…he had no choice. “I need to go.” He started to let her go but forced her to look at him.

“Try to come back. Try to come back to me.” His voice wavered slightly. He felt someone slam a hand to his back.

“She’ll come back laddie, stop acting like a milkmaid.” Alistair opened her mouth to reprimand the man who came to retrieve her. Alduin acted faster, he slammed the man to the wall, his hand wrapping around his neck.

“Touch me again, I will tear your soul to shreds, joore.” He hissed angrily. A delicate hand went to touch his wrist. Alduin glanced to the side. Her eyes were pleading – he released the man and easily led Alistair a few steps away. The man coughing as he regained his breath.

“I need to go Alduin.” She murmured once more.

“Come back – promise you’ll come back.” She glanced over her shoulder, and the boats were starting to leave. The man passed them, hurrying to the boats. She stared at Alduin for a time.

“I love you Alduin,” She gritted. In an instant he knew she would not be coming back, no matter what happened. She kissed him swiftly. “I love you, remember that. Zu’u lokaal hi, dii dovah.” She ran to the boat, jumping to make the deck. She rushed to the back to wave back to Alduin. He did not wave back…

His hand reached out slowly towards her….

He stared until the boat disappeared. Alistair was gone…and would not return. Whatever had been left of Alduin’s heart left on the same ship as her.

His Dovahkiin. His Joore. His Umriid.

Stolen.


	2. Alastair's Return

**_How many years has it been?_ **

**_How long have I been here?_ **

**_Where is here?_ **

**_It felt cold._ **

**_No light._ **

**_I felt alone._ **

**_I felt like I swung in the balance of sanity and insanity._ **

**_Why…?_ **

**_Why did I ever listen to him? Did he forsake me? Why? I did everything he asked of me. I said goodbye to all I knew – to all that I love – for his sake. My memories were fading. All of them. Even my most precious ones – the ones that still held Alduin, fading. I barely remembered his face and the others were all but forgotten._ **

**_I had forgotten everything. The feel of the wind blowing through my hair. The feel of the grass beneath my feet. The feel of snowflakes melting on my skin. The touch of a love one. The feeling in my gut whenever I saw him. Or how at peace I felt when in the sky, looking on the world. I felt free. The feel of a safe haven – a home._ **

**_I had forgotten all. No matter how hard I clinged to it and tried to remember. I could not._ **

**_I yearned to move. I yearned to be free. I yearned for my home – my sanctuary – away from the cold, dark, loneliness that made my prison._ **

_Time passed and Alistair remained frozen in an icecap, waiting to be freed at the right time. Slowly her mind turned sour – memories of old thrown into the wind. Buried deep within her subconscious as her mind fought to keep her sanity. Before she stopped thinking, she wondered many times if Akatosh had forsaken her._

_He did not – he only waited for the opportune time. For another, whose fate had been entwined with Alistair’s, to come find his Chosen. Someone who would grow to protect Alistair from all that would harm her. Someone who would be supporting, loving, and like family. Someone who would stand at Alistair’s side – even if what Alistair did could be considered wrong._

_He waited for a cursed woman – her soul signed away at birth._

_Rowena Mistwalker, like many others she would play a large part in Alistair’s story._

......................................................................................................

Rowena watched from the tree as the Imperial caravan moved over the road towards Helgen. She noticed a figure huddled in the corner of one of the wagons – Alastair – one of her newer members of the crew. She’d become quite an important figure in her crew, like a little sister to most. Alastair had been so naively nice most felt bad for the plans to originally drop her off at Tortuga and be off. The crew of the Notaulus had come to decide to keep the girl with them and helped her the best they could.

During on day of docking – they’d been attacked and Alastair had been taken. It took a few weeks but eventually Rowena found Alastair had been captured by Imperials and with some help they planned to break their friend free – as they would with any other.

Rowena let out a low whistle and from the opposite side where the mountains stood, a light glittered and a similar whistle was returned. She pulled up the hood of her jacket and crouched low, ready to go. She saw the small grey balls fly through the air and when they hit the ground they exploded into puffs of smoke. Rowena moved swiftly she became engulfed by the smoke as she slid beneath the wagon of where Alastair sat. She slammed her hand through the wood and got a good grip as she clung to the bottom. “You’re late…” Alastair whispered very quietly. The commotion from the Imperials started to calm as the smoke started to disperse.

“My apologies dear sweetheart,” Rowena murmured in return. She heard Alastair chuckle soft and became silent as the smoke dispersed entirely. Rowena met the eyes of a Nord opposite of Alastair, she grinned and made a ‘shush’ sound. He nodded very slowly and turned his attention to all those around them. The Imperials, though shaken, continued their march towards Helgen.

“You there,” The Nord spoke to Alastair. “How do you feel?” Rowena had a surge of curiosity about his question, she figured that an Imperial may have roughed Alastair up at some point during the journey.

“Better now. Thank you.” Alastair responded in a quiet murmur. Rowena saw that small smile she gave to people whenever she lied.

“Damn you Stormcloaks, Skyrim was fine until you came along! Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn’t been looking for you I’d have stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell,” A man who sat beside the blond Nord spoke up rather venomously. Rowena could smell the desperation and fear roll off him in waves. “You, you and me – we shouldn’t be here! It’s these Stormcloaks the Empire wants!”

“We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now…” Ralof muttered staring at his leather binds.

“Shut up back there.” The Imperial snapped, seemingly irritated by the chatter.

“What’s wrong with him, huh?” After a moment of silence the man in rags spoke again, he sounded irritated if anything. Rowena glanced to the furthest corner and her eyes widened. Well, well, the bigoted racist Ulfric Stormcloak.

“Hold your tongue! You’re speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King!” Blondie did not take kindly to that as he growled lowly at Rags beside him.

“…Ulfric? The Jarl of Windhelm?! You’re…you’re the leader of the rebellion! If they’ve captured you…oh god! Where are they taking us?!” Rags took on a tone of utter panic as he blabbered loudly. Rowena felt some pity towards the man, but not much else.

“I don’t know where we’re going…but Sovngarde awaits.” Blondie sighed heavily.

“No! This can’t be happening! This isn’t happening!” After Rags tried to convince himself that this could not possibly be happening, things quieted. Rowena stared at Alastair who watched her hands. Her lips were pursed – she knew Alastair wanted to talk with them.

“…Hey what village are you from, horse thief?” Blondie spoke up again, his tone far softer than it originally had been.

“Why do you care…?” Rags sounded on the verge of tears.

“A Nord’s last thoughts should be of home.”

“Rorikstead,” Rags stammered out his answer, this time Rowena really heard the waver in his voice. “I’m from Rorikstead.” Rowena watched as they passed through the gates of Helgen, she saw a few of her crew members on the move – all of them disguised as some travelers or village folk.

“General Tulius, sir! The headsman is waiting.” Rowena heard the loud shout at the front of the caravan.

“Good. Let’s get this over with.” General Tulius sounded rather tired in Rowena’s opinion.

“Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh! Divines, please help me!” Rags cried quietly, at this point Rowena rolled her eyes. While she realized death had to be a terrifying experience to a newcomer, she still thought that Rags probably brought this on himself.

“Look at him…General Tulius, Military General. And it looks like the Thalmor are with him; damn elves. I bet they had something to do with this,” Blondie spoke rather loudly with the start of his sentence. Sounding like a “true Nord” and all that other bullshit. As he spoke again, Rowena felt the nostalgia come from him. It felt a lot nicer than his angry rant of Tulius. “This is Helgen…used to be sweet on a girl from here. I wonder if Velod still makes that mead with juniper berries mixed in. Funny…when I was a boy Imperial walls and towers used to make me feel so safe.”

 “Easy now,” Rowena heard the Imperial who had been leading the cart reigning the horse as they stopped beside a horse. Rowena tensed she thought hard on how to get out from under the wagon without being noticed, suddenly some shouts were heard a bit further away. She saw her second-in-command Kittias starting a fight with one of the soldiers. Most of the Imperials moved to pull him away from the soldier, Rowena dropped to the ground and rushed behind the house that sat opposite of the execution site. It would be the perfect spot.

“Get the rest of the prisoners out of the cart!” Rowena scaled the house and watched as Alastair got out of the wagon and stood rather calmly behind Rags and Blondie.

“You’ve got to tell them we weren’t with you! This is a mistake!” Rags looked at Blondie and Ulfric with a pleading look. Blondie shook his head and murmured something quietly to Rags, Rags looked like he’d just been shot. His face drained of all color and fear emanated from him.

“Step towards the block when we call your name, one at a time.” A rather young Imperial kept glancing at Blondie, just as Blondie kept glancing at him. Brothers perhaps?

“Empire loves their damned lists.” Blondie spat at the Imperials feet as they lined up more properly this time.

“Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm.”

“It has been an honor…Jarl Ulfric.”

“Ralof of Riverwood,” Ralof, nice name. Blondie suited him better, though. The young Imperial soldier called out Rags name. “Lokir of Rorikstead.”

“No! I’m not a rebel! You can’t do this!” Suddenly Rags started to sprint towards the entrance of Helgen. Alastair had reached out in an attempt to grab him but he shoved her down and kept going.

“Halt!” The Legate called loudly.

“You won’t kill me!” Rags laughed manically as he passed the fort, but the Legate would not allow any prisoners to escape.

“Archers!” The Legate howled for her archers who shot without a second thought. She glared at the remaining prisoners as she spoke once more, “Anyone else feel like running?” Rowena decided that the Legate had to be a bitch. Regardless of whether or not it was her job, she just seemed like a bitch.

“You…step forward,” Alastair stood up shakily with the help of a Stormcloak from the other line. The Stormcloak held her up as the Imperial questioned her gently. “Who are you?”

“Alastair Farseer,” Alastair spoke with a hesitant voice, Rowena saw her eyes rove over Rags. Rowena felt bad. Alastair had always been a good person, she probably blamed herself for not stopping Rags sooner.

“Captain…she’s not on the list.”

“Forget the list! She goes straight to the block.” The Legate snapped and moved towards the execution block. Rowena almost morphed right there. It had been confirmed. That bitch would die.

“By your orders Captain. I’m sorry, we’ll make sure your remains get buried properly. Follow the captain prisoners.” The Imperial did truly sound sorry for it, but he would not disobey orders. That was one reason Rowena did not like the Imperials or the Stormcloaks. Neither side could think for themselves and did things they would not have done before joining. Pathetic.

“Ulfric Stormcloak…some here in Helgen call you a hero, but a hero doesn’t use a power like the Voice to murder his King and usurp his throne,” Rowena snickered to herself, that speech sounded rather practiced. “You started this war, flung Skyrim into chaos! And now the Empire is going to put you down and restore the peace.”

“What was that?” Rowena looked to the skies, her hair stood on end. She did not like that sound. It thundered, yet not a dark cloud could be seen in the brilliant blue sky. Something was off.

“Nothing. Carry on.” Tulius shrugged and moved to watch the executions.

“Yes General Tulius! Give them their last rights.” The Legate gestured to a priest and Rowena took the bow from her back. Almost time, she took a mirror from her pocket and looked to Kittias who had been thrown in with the execution lot. He stood beside Alastair. Rowena saw a few of the other members and carefully flashed the mirror to their faces or chests. All of them started too moved slowly – prepared to overtake the precession.

“As we commend your souls to Aetherius, blessing of the eight divines upon you…”

“For the love Talos…shut up and let’s get this over with!”

“…as you wish.”

“Come on! I haven’t got all morning! My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperials! Can you say the same?!” Just as the headsman raised his axe to kill the brave man – Rowena notched an arrow to her bow, gave aim, and let it sail. The arrow hit the headsman’s hand perfectly. He staggered away from the Stormcloak instantly, the members of the Notaulus gave out a war shout and blasted Imperials who attempted to draw weapons. With the Imperials under control, Rowena jumped from the roof and moved towards the crowd.

Ralof glanced at the woman who approached the group. She seemed to be of Nordic descent with her tall stature and lithe form. As she passed Ralof, she looked just barley taller than himself, but she still _towered_ over him. She gave off such a sense of danger and confidence that she seemed taller _._ She shed the hood from her face, and he saw her features properly. Her skin seemed to be kissed gently by the sun adding a smooth texture to her seemingly rugged face. Her face angular and strong became framed by cinnamon colored hair that fell to her shoulders in a wavy mess, two braids rested just before her collar bone. The woman had a noticeable scar running across her face and jerking down her lip leaving her face disfigured with a strange allure to it. The woman seemed at completely calm despite being the thick tension growing in Helgen. She paused beside the woman who had been on the wagon with Ralof earlier, she put a hand on the cloaked girls shoulder. She looked to the side briefly, meeting Ralof’s gaze, her eyes were a very light blue almost like the sky on a clear spring morning. She grinned at him and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, her canines were noticeably sharp and the grin wolfishly predatory.

She wore a long sleeved dark leather jacket of sorts that covered her to just below her waist. The sleeves of her jacket were wide and reached down to her hands, the cuffs folded to reveal strange markings on the tops of her hands. Her jacket opened to reveal a plain white blouse that wasn’t entirely tied up revealing some of her cleavage. A dark blue sash seemed to be tied around her waist with a belt that hung at an angle over her waist, her pants were simple and narrow and it reached her boots. Rather strange attire but Ralof figured her to be a foreigner most likely.

“What is this,” Tulius growled from the dagger that pressed against his throat. “Who are you?!” He shouted as he tried to disarm his attacked, which proved to be a bad move. The man who held him proceeded to jab his feet to the back of Tulius’ knees making him kneel. The man hit him in the back with the hilt of his other dagger and pain shot over Tulius’ face.

“Sorry General,” Rowena snapped from her gaze over to the grayed General. She patted Alastair’s shoulder once more as Kittias began to cut her bonds, however he left the Stormcloaks in their binds. Kittias did not like them any more than Rowena, if not more. “Normally I don’t do this on first meetings, but I do have a job to do here.”

“I will not ask again, who are you?” Rowena had give him props for the brave face he put on. He wanted to keep control, and he did well of doing so, emotionally anyway.

“Oh General…that hurts,” Rowena gave a mock pout as she placed a hand over her collar bone. As she introduced herself she gave a sweeping bow, grinning proudly as some gasps erupted from the soldiers. “Rowena Mistwalker, Queen of Pirates – scourge of Imperial law - you know just silly little titles.”

“You…I’ve heard a lot about you.” The General’s eyes hardened at her name.

“I would hope so! I do try so very hard to keep my bounty high.” Rowena said in a matter-of-fact tone. She made a gesture for Alastair to come over, which she did. She paused beside Rowena glancing around Helgen worriedly.

“Why are you here? Did he hire you?” The General jerked his head towards Ulfric who had not been unbound, and those who tried were forced away.

“Hmm? Ulfric? Oh heavens no, even if he offered me all the money in the world – I would not help his sorry ass. No General Tulius, I came for her.” Rowena gestured once more towards Alastair who shifted uncomfortably.

“I am sorry…General. You weren’t suppose to get hurt.” Alastair spoke quietly. She did not want anyone to be harmed…in a way…she wished Rowena had not come.

“You’re apologizing?” Tulius looked shocked and rather confused.

“She’s a funny one – naïve and sweet. She was rather intent on ensuring your safety.” Rowena laughed as she threw an arm around Alastair’s shoulder. Alastair relaxed a bit, but still picked at her nails, unable to meet Tulius’ gaze.

“Why? Aren’t you a pirate?” Tulius spat, suddenly feeling cautious.

“Not really, I just live with them.” Alastair confessed quietly.

“There it is again…” The same roar could be heard. Alastair stiffened – it sounded vaguely familiar. Rowena on the other hand looked nervous.

“Quite you!” One of her crew members hit the Imperial who spoke.

“Oi, easy lads! No need to get rough. Look Tulius – honey – we’ll just take a few horses and be off. You can add more gold to my head and we’ll finish our date later, this way you continue with your execution, and I go off to my salty darlin’.” Rowena purred her words, she leaned down so that she could better look at Tulius. “Savvy?” When she finished her request, he looked appalled.

“You just expect me to let you go!?” Before Rowena could speak, Alastair suddenly gasped. She flailed a moment as she launched her hands to grab Rowena. Alastair’s hands dug into her arm as her eyes started to bleed. Rowena felt a surge of panic as she grabbed the younger girl. Her hood fell back as Rowena tried to lay her down – the midnight blue locks fell in large curls, her pale skin seemed to glow unnaturally. Alastair’s right eye – the strange blue one – started glowing as well.

“Ali!” Rowena called to the younger girl, she hoped that maybe Alastair would snap out of it.

“It hurts…it hurts!” Alastair clung desperately to Rowena. Her the dark black of her left eye had a glazed look as she started to cough, blood dribbling from the corner of her mouth. Rowena shifted so that Alastair’s blood would spill from her mouth. She’d learned that when Alastair went through this, she could drown in her own blood, just like she could drown from water.

“Shhh, shhh, you’re safe! It’s okay Ali…” Rowena murmured desperately as she tried to comfort Alastair. The other members of the crew looked worried as well but did not falter, they knew if they let their guard down, the innocent girl they all came to love would be taken from them.

Alastair suddenly went limp. When she spoke – it sounded like another voice had laced through her own.

**_“When misrule takes its place at the eight corners of the world_ **

**_When the Brass Tower walks and Time is reshaped_ **

**_When the thrice-blessed fail and the Red Tower trembles_ **

**_When the Dragonborn Ruler loses his throne, and the White Tower falls_ **

**_When the Snow Tower lies sundered, kingless, bleeding_ **

**_The World-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the Last Dragonborn.”_ **

“What in Oblivion is that!?” Rowena did not pay attention to anything other than the girl in her lap. She heard a loud roar, and the ground suddenly shook widely. A shout thundered across the planes as her ears began to ring. Suddenly – the sky darkened and bright fire fell from the skies. Rowena covered Alastair with her body as she tried to keep her safe and undamaged.

“Get to the tower!” She heard someone shouting.

“Captain!” Kittias shook her widely, trying to get her to move.

 “Alistair?” Normally…normally Alastair would be moving by now. Rowena shook Alastair again.

“Alastair!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long. School got a far more complicated and that caused some friction with my parents. My apologies guys!
> 
> If you guys notice anything off, let me know. I'll try to fix any grammar mistakes or plot mistakes, but I'd like to get the third chapter started so it might be put off.


	3. Wakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowena's P.O.V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will start putting the point of view at the beginning of the chapter from now on.  
> This comes from Rowena's POV - when I use her as the view, there will undoubtedly be profanity and a bit more violence than I would use with Alistair.
> 
> So fair warning! :)
> 
> She is a pirate queen after ;)

Rowena had become focused solely on Alistair - all around her Helgen had been enveloped into pure and utter chaos. Rocks were falling from the sky with an ear-shattering crash, debris from buildings flew about the air and the ash made it harder to breath. No longer did the sky show the crystal blue of early morn a dark orange had taken its place, slowly it faded back to blue. The dark thundering clouds hovered over Helgen like a dark plague.

Rowena had leaned over Alistair using herself as a shield to protect her from the debris and falling rock. She had shut down, panicked by Alistair's vision. She'd seen them before and none had been quite this violent and she always, always woke up right after. Her voice had never changed like that and Alistair had never panicked like she had when a vision came to her. Alistair sat limply in Rowena's arms and the Pirate Queen did not know how this happened or what to do - her body had taken over and still she protected Alistair.  
The ground shook and an ear-splitting roar thundered the courtyard. Rowena raised her head, her eyes met glowing red eyes. A dragon perched on the top of the tower, it stared Rowena down, silent. The longer the dragon stared, the more it seemed that the dragon stared not at Rowena, but at Alistair. For a moment, Rowena feared the dragon would focus his attacks on her and Alistair. It spoke, "Mal…dov…" to Rowena it sounded like disbelief. It stared just a moment longer before it started to attack other parts of Helgen. Rowena just sat - dumbstruck. It spoke. The dragon spoke, but what had it said.

Someone began to shake Rowena, speaking to her urgently but she did not hear them. The voice fell deaf on her ears as her eyes fell slowly back to Alistair's peaceful face. What should she do? How can she protect Alistair? She needs to keep her safe…she needed to.

Quite suddenly Rowena felt her chin being grasped by roughened hands, at first she thought it would be Kittias, but as she was forced to look away from Alistair's face she met the soft blue eyes of Blondie. His brows were furrowed and his mouth pulled into a frown. He scooted closer in an attempt to help Rowena shield Alistair from the ash and other about them. "You want to protect the girl, do you not," His voice came out clearer. Rowena slowly nodded, her shock and daze slowly faded as she had been pulled back into reality. "We need to get out of here!" He called over the thundering crashes - Rowena noticed that the rocks were slowing, fewer were falling.

Rowena nodded in understanding, if she truly wished to protect Alistair she needed to get her somewhere safe. She lifted her head from Alistair, her eyes roved over the area, quickly she noticed a tower. The door looked to be open. Swiftly she stood her arms tightened around Alistair as she swung her into her arms. She noticed that her crew had not yet moved to cover - many attempted to move the villagers over the wall and some flailed about in utter panic. "Listen to me," Rowena roared over the chaos to her crew. She knew full well that even if they could not hear her, they'd follow the others that did, so long as they saw the movement. "Head to the tower!" Rowena launched herself forward she pushed her legs as far as she could as she slid through the opened door. Sure enough, her crew already stood at attention. Most of them anyway, she assumed the others already left, she had told them if anything went awry to leave as fast as they could and to meet at her estate in Morthal.

Once inside, Rowena moved her way through the crowd huddled inside and laid Alistair on the table. She rested her fingers against the girls neck, Rowena felt the steady beat of her heart. Though she still did not open her eyes, Rowena felt calmed that Alistair still breathed. "What in Oblivion happened out there?" Rowena glanced at her shoulder to see Ulfric Stormcloak, standing behind her with his chest puffed out and his eyes narrowed at her. Rowena did not respond, instead she looked about the room seeing Kittias.

"Kittias! Do you have a healing potion," Rowena called over the soft clammer of the small group - a mix of the Notaulus crew and the Stormcloaks. Kittias glanced up from Milomeel who sat curled on himself, his dark scaly tale slowly moved as his body shook. Rowena walked over watching Milomeel take slow deep breaths. "Milomeel…are you…dear friend I will get you out of this." Rowena took his hand, they felt a bit colder than normal. Milomeel opened his eyes, she saw the stretch of his face as he smiled.

Kittias stooped beside Rowena, muttering softly in her ear, "We've no health potions among us Captain. We used it all trying to fight the dragon." Rowena looked at the grim expression of her second. She nodded and squeezed Milomeel's hand - an attempt to keep him awake.

"That I do not doubt, my friend," Milomeel wheezed out. "I have followed you long…I am honored to have stayed this long with a leader such as you…" Rowena gave out a short bark. She never felt herself to be that great of a leader, she just wanted to make sure her pack always had food in their bellies and a roof over their head.

"You speak as though you will not make it," Rowena's eyes watered slightly. She glanced at Kittias, lowering her voice. "Go to Alistair, keep her safe. See what you can do." She murmured softly. In all the years she knew him, she knew very well that Kittias needed to do something in order to stay calm. If he felt he contributed to what was happening around them - he'd keep a level head. Mostly.

Milomeel gave out a raspy cough, his head followed Kittias as he moved through the crowd towards Alistair. "How is little one? Does she fare well?" Milomeel attempted to lift himself up, but Rowena placed a hand on his shoulder. She smiled darkly, Milomeel and Alistair had gotten along quite well - especially when Rowena first introduced Alistair to the crew. He had confided in Rowena that Alistair reminded him of his daughter - long lost to the marshes of his home. He had been protective and often the first to defend her through thick and thin.

"She…she has not yet woken, but her heart still beats steady and her breathing has normalized." Rowena watched Milomeel's eyes darken and roll to where Kittias could be seen bustling over the table.

"That is…that is…good. I am glad she…well," Milomeel whispered. Rowena stared a moment before she scooped him up and moved towards the table where Alistair rested. Milomeel smiled once more, once she came into clear view Milomeel let out a heavy breath - like a weight had been lifted from his chest. "I thank you Captain, for your constant concern and care." Milomeel murmured as Rowena pulled a chair with her foot so that it rested at the head of the table. She could smell something amiss in Milomeel's scent, she had to get him out of this.

"There's still time to heal you, Milo." Rowena watched Milomeel take vigil over Alistair. He rested his head next to Alistair's, a hand coming to rest on the side of the young girl's head. Milomeel let out a wheezy laugh. He raised his head to watch Rowena, and he smiled widely.

"You know as well as I, though there is no time, we have no potions. The only one with knowledge of restoration lies on this table," Milomeel coughed, turning his head from Alistair, his eyes pained. Rowena turned her head, she carefully knelt at the side of Milomeel and of Alistair's. The crew of the Notaulus gathered solemnly as they came to recognize the problem arising. The Argonian had been one of the first to join Rowena in her crew, a senior member, and one of very few confidants the Captain ever had - if Captain lost him, she would revert to herself and shut out others. Rowena took Milomeel's hand, trying to smile through her pain. "Do not give me such a look, Captain. I will try my best to pull through, but I make no promises." Rowena nodded and stood. She had to get them out.

"Jenal, Athon, get to the top of the tower, see if you can't find us a way out." Rowena looked to the duo she'd recently taken on her vessel. A bosmer and nord, attached at the hip. They had been adopted into the same house as they said, now neither one let the other out of sight. Athon nodded and dashed up the stairs, his female counter part - Jenal - only seconds behind him. Rowena started to turn back when she felt someone grab her arm, she turned to see Ulfric, fuming now as he downright glared at her.

"I asked a question, I expect it to be answered." Ulfric growled as he yanked Rowena away from Alistair. The crew of the Notaulus froze instantly, all of them hushed and the Stormcloaks looked up from where they sat, curious to the sudden silence. All that could be heard were the muffled screams outside and the loud thundering roar. Rowena turned fully to watch Ulfric who stayed his ground, both leaders watched the other.

Rowena spoke first, "Do you think…that because of past relations, you can touch me?" Rowena's eyes tilted down to the hand that still grasped her forearm. She wanted nothing more than to tear him to shreds. Her hatred to Ulfric had not come by his attitude or his foolishly bigoted ideas. Rowena and Ulfric had history…filled with desire and lust, a poisonous and intoxicating relation. Ulfric wanted something he could not have while Rowena searched for a love and family she never had. Both had their reasons for staying, though it was clear to both they only had a physical relation. It went well for the first year…until Rowena found him in the arms of another woman - in the exact place they always met up to have their rendezvous. Rowena felt betrayed and hurt, for though the relationship started out physical, she had started to feel for Ulfric and planned to tell him the truth that day. Since then they've been at odds.

Ulfric only made it worse. He had taken Rowena's niece, throwing her to the dungeons for the main fact of being related to Rowena. It did not take long for Rowena to come and break her niece out, but when she did, her niece was brutally beaten and looked as though she had not eaten in days. Out of pure and unadaltered rage Rowena pillaged Windhelm. She tore down bricks of the palace and walls - stone by stone - leaving her mark as many as her niece had been given. Only the Gray Quarters were left unscathed by Rowena and her crew. After that day, Ulfric had no hope at redemption. Rowena despised him and thought his ideals even more foolish than the first day they met.

"I have a right to know what is going on," Ulfric paused, still he gripped her arm, not seeing the storm that brewed behind those dark abyssal eyes. Ulfric froze when her eyes changed. They turned to a brilliant yellow, they seemed to glow hazily with gold, her pupils widened into pitch black saucers - the hair on Ulfric's body stood on end. Every instinct, every nerve, told him to run but he would not get far. Rowena grabbed Ulfric by his neck - her hand slammed against his trachea as she tried to move fast enough so he would not be able to dodge. A loud yelp escaped Ulfric as he felt himself lifted ever so slightly off the ground. He choked as he tried to breath, clawing at Rowena's hand as he tried to kick at her, but Rowena would not be moved.

The Stormcloaks tried to help their leader but the Notaulus crew turned on them, seeing as they were the only ones with weapons, the Stormcloaks gave pause. "Listen closely _Jarl Ulfric_ I am not some bar maid who will cower beneath you. I am not one of your servants. I am not your subject. I am not _yours_. Should you ever treat me as such again, I will tear out you throat and shove it back down the hole I create. Have I made myself _perfectly_ clear," Rowena purred her words, her calm demeanor made her all the more terrifying. "Besides what in the ever loving fuck makes you think I know what's going on? I'm just a pirate whore, remember?" Rowena spat angrily.

"We apologize for our Jarl's impudence, milady." Rowena looked to her side to see Blondie, he stood with his arms slightly up and outstretched. Rowena watched as he glanced between her and Ulfric whose struggle slowed to weak mutters. His face turned red and blue.

"Name." Rowena watched his hesitation.

"Ralof…Ralof of Riverwood." He spoke calmly but she could see the panic in his eyes.

"Ralof…why are you apologizing?" Rowena gave a sickeningly sweet smile. Ralof shuddered - he knew this woman to be dangerous.

"Our leader has offended you, has he not? Clearly he cannot speak, so I ask for forgiveness for him," Ralof moved closer just slightly. The grip that held Ulfric tightened he spasmed before he fell limp. His eyes twitched as he let out a few more gasps for breath. "Would the girl want you to do this?" Ralof spoke hurriedly now. Rowena froze, her smile dropped from her face. A slow burning glare took its place. Ralof knew he hit his mark - this woman's weakness is the girl.

"Smart move," Rowena spat as she tossed Ulfric towards Ralof, he moved to catch his Jarl and barely managed to keep his head from hitting the ground. The tension loosened in the room just barely. She watched as the color in Ulfric's face returned, dissatisfaction colored her own. Ralof looked up at her, Rowena noticed that he did not seem bitter or angry, just relieved. "You should be thankful you have someone with such silver words Ulfric, I'd've snapped your neck by now and be done with it." Rowena watched as he wheezed more - coughing as he rubbed his neck.

"Thank you milady," Ralof looked towards his companions who moved forward and took Ulfric towards the opposite side of the room. Rowena simply rolled her eyes, she moved back towards Alistair. Milomeel glanced up from his spot, his breathing sounded a bit stronger, Rowena noticed that the wound seemed to be bleeding less. She nodded to Milomeel who nodded back, she bent over Alistair and touched her face gently. The young girl shifted but did not open her eyes, her body seemed to be relaxing slowly. Rowena breathed out a soft sigh of relief. Suddenly she heard a yell upstairs and the tower shook, she heard a roar and Rowena covered Alistair once more to protect the young lady from falling pebbles. Once the shaking was over, Rowena rushed upstairs to see Athon and Jenal both in shock. They were standing a few steps higher than some of the stones from the tower. Beneath the stones - a Stormcloak's body could be seen.

Rowena clambered over the rock to get to Athon and Jenal, when she reached them, she clapped them both on the shoulder. It brought them both to look at Rowena - eyes wide. Jenal's hands were shook as she glanced continuously over Rowena's shoulder. "Deep breaths," Rowena spoke calmly. Jenal nodded doing as Rowena said. "Tell me what just happened." Rowena lowered her voice, taking notice of Ulfric who'd come up with Ralof and two others.

"It…it came out of nowhere!" Jenal gasped out, her face seemed pale.  
"It...the dragon…it smashed through the wall on our way down!" Athon yelped as he watched the chaos outside.

"Like it knew we were there!" Jenal finished breathily. Rowena gritted her teeth, she pulled them carefully down the rubble leading them back downstairs. She had to get the rest of them out of there, but with so many wounded it would be hard to move in groups. Not only, but it would also give the dragon a bigger target.

"Alright listen up! All of you, I've fought at your sides for a long time now, and you know I would never ask you to abandon anyone of the Notaulus unless necessary," Rowena began her talk carefully, her crew watched in silence. "You all need to split up and leave, now. I've never face a dragon, and I'm not sure I want to. Moving in a group will be extremely dangerous, it would give the dragon a bigger mark. Move in groups of twos and threes. You all need to go now, help each other over the wall or gate and seek cover till the dragon leaves. We can do no more than that." Rowena spoke confidently with her words.

"What about you?" Someone piped up. The crew let out an outcry in agreement and question. Rowena sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.

"I'll be taking Alistair, or staying in here. It could prove difficult to move Alistair."

An outcry sounded through the crew. "I think I speak for all of us when I say, we won't leave you. If you stay, we all stay." Kittias stepped forward with his arm crossed over his chest. Rowena sighed, she knew they would do this.

"I know…I know…I am grateful for such loyalty. I could not ask for a better crew. But I need to think of your wellbeing, please Kittias, you owe me this much. I'll get out of here as fast as I can, but with that dragon out there, we can't move in a big group. It is far too dangerous to risk. As I said, we all leave in twos or threes, find ways out and avoid the dragon. I want you all to meet me at our…headquarters." Her eyes wandered towards Ulfric and the other Stormcloaks. A soft murmur swept through the crew.

Athon stepped up towards Kittias. "Rowena…you saved my life and my sisters…I owe it to you. I swore I would follow you to the ends of time. If this is an order, I will follow it, under the condition you swear you'll do your best to get back to the Notaulus." Athon spoke strongly. Rowena walked up to him, she placed a hand on his shoulder once more, a soft smile on her face.

"Thank you Athon," Rowena grasped his forearm in a handshake. "Take care of yourself and Jenal, keep your eyes to the sky suga'?" She patted his shoulder once more. He nodded and walked over to Jenal, they gave a gloomy wave towards Rowena before they walked out hurriedly. The crew hesitated a moment before they lined up and shook Rowena's hand. Not soon after, all that stayed was Milomeel and Kittias.

"Rowena I cannot leave you." Kittias stepped up to Rowena who smiled softly.

"You must. Take Milomeel get him to Riverwood. I'll be careful, I swear." Rowena sighed heavily. Kittias stared between their feet, he took one more step forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Rowena. He kissed the top of her head and held her a moment longer.

"Live free, die well my friend." Kittias once released Rowena and grasped her forearm. Rowena gave him a devious grin. With a sharp nod, Kittias moved around Rowena and he picked up Milomeel before dashing out after the rest of the crew. Rowena followed suit, she grasped Alistair tightly, making sure to cover her skin to protect her from the fire. She felt someone grab her arm, she glanced to her side to see Blondie.

"You told him to head to Riverwood," Ralof spoke quietly, his eyes glanced to the side. "I have family down there - tell them I sent you - they'll shelter you. If you're trying to keep the girl safe and away from prying eyes, their home is a good spot for privacy." He gave a kind smile and Rowena nodded.

"Thanks," Rowena kicked the door open just in time to see the dragon land on the other side of the town. However, the way back towards the main gate now seemed to be blocked by rubble and stone - it would be too dangerous to go through - she'd have to go around. Rowena paused a moment to watch Ralof who watched her back. "I could use a good man in my crew, should you change your mind about being a Stormcloak - I may have a job opening for ya darlin'." Rowena gave him a wink and left, she held Alistair as she hung limply on her back. She noticed the inn just to the right of the tower had a hole blown through the bottom floor. That led to the main gate - instantly, Rowena rushed over and kicked the door down, easily navigating her way through the fallen furniture to the other side of the inn. Once out, Rowena let out a heavy sigh, the main gate was blocked…of course.

Fucking dumbass lizard.

Despite this, Rowena kept moving with surprising speed - considering the dead weight she carried. Finally she reached Helgen's Keep, she knew better than any that Imperial buildings always had another exit. On her way in she noticed Ralof - the fool - arguing with one of the Imperial soldiers. "Oi, Blondie! Get your ass inside!" Rowena screamed, she saw the tell-tale signs of the dragon landing. It hovered in the air, she felt its eyes burning on her neck. She had to get inside. Ralof looked over, he looked rather surprised, but he listened. He gave on last glance to the Imperial before he sprinted over towards Rowena. She moved in and he dove after her just as the dragon landed and Rowena caught a glance of its tail. Suddenly the keep shook dangerously small pebbles fell from the ceiling.

"Good to see you again," Ralof winked as he stood up from the ground.

Rowena carefully set Alistair down - to check her. The battle had been filled with smoke and fire, arrows flew and Rowena was sure that some Imperial's took a swing at her. As she looked at Alistair not much seemed to be a problem, other than the soot that smeared her face and hair. Rowena let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Aye, I'm sure it is." Rowena smiled tiredly in return. Both warriors sat down - on either side of Alistair - breathing quietly.

"What…what was that? That thing she did?" Rowena over Alistair's head to see Ralof glance between her and Alistair. She narrowed her eyes, sudden caution filled her. She had no reason to trust him.

"Once we're out, I'll answer some questions. Till then, shut up and lemme breath." Rowena coughed out. Ralof laughed and got to his feet, brushing off his pants as he moved towards the iron door. He tried to jiggle the handle but to no avail. It was locked. Ralof looked over his shoulder towards a wooden gate - no doubt leading to some barracks.

"Think you could pick the lock?" Ralof questioned, Rowena rolled her eyes a bit.

"What makes you think I can pick locks?" She most definitely could, but just because she was a pirate didn't necessarily mean she knew all the tricks of the trade. Besides, she preferred a more….abrupt approach to things.

"I meant no disrespect…" Ralof began, his hands in front of him. Rowena hefted herself from her spot on the floor, careful as not to make Alistair fall over. She strode to the opposite side of the room where Ralof seemed to start panicking. With one swift movement, Rowena kicked the door down. She felt the spirit of the hunt flare in eagerness, Rowena shook her head, calming her mind as she turned to Ralof.

"Grab Alistair," Rowena ordered without question Ralof moved to follow that order. A thought came to her head and Rowena grasped his forearm roughly - when she met his eyes she smiled coldly. "If you try anything with her, I will hunt you down, understand?" Ralof grinned with a firm nodded, he walked over to Alistair who still seemed to be in a deep slumber. Ralof picked her up so carefully that it actually calmed Rowena, she pulled out the daggers from her boots and started down the halls. As they started to pass under an arch Rowena felt the ground shake and she threw herself backwards - knocking into Ralof who shouted in surprise. Rocks from the ceiling collapsed and blocked the way to the other side. Rowena stared at the toppled rocks for a long time.

"Damned dragon is going to bring this keep down on our heads…" Ralof muttered as he got back up, Rowena glanced over towards Alistair, when she met Ralof's eyes he gave a soft smile. "She's alright Rowena - she fell atop me. You lead, I'll follow and keep this little lass out of harm's way." Rowena nodded her thanks and glanced to the side - a door stood there, when she listened she did not hear anything on the other side. Rowena opened the door carefully and the door swung open quietly. When they stepped through it looked like the kitchens of the keep.

"Put her on the table, help me look for any health potions." Rowena directed as she started to rustle through the barrels and dressers. Ralof did as he was told and started  in the other room, carefully pushing through barrels. Suddenly, Rowena heard Ralof give a grunt of satisfaction and when she looked up he had a red bottle in hand. Rowena's heart soared as she greedily took it from his extended hand. Both warriors hurried to the girl and Rowena held the young girls head up as she carefully poured the liquid into Alistair's opened mouth.

For a moment or so, Rowena felt that Alistair would still not wake, but her eyes fluttered before they opened.

"Rowena…?" Rowena felt something warm run across her cheek. Rowena wrapped her arms around the younger girl, she felt smaller hands gently pat her back. "I'm okay. I'm okay…"


	4. Days of Futures Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair's P.O.V

I watched Rowena and the Stormcloak from the wagon rifle through more barrels. Rowena had sat me up and she gave me a waterskin - she told me to drink slowly and not worry. However I could not help the curiosity that gnawed at my mind. That roar…it sounded familiar - what worried me more is that I felt relief and comfort from it, as if I'd heard it a million times before this. Fuzzy images of a man flashed constantly in my mind - long black hair with eyes that glowed dark maroon horns that curled back across his head and ears that seemed like an elves - almost looked like a light silver just barely noticeably at a distance. 

I did not remember why this person gave me so much comfort and made butterflies shoot through my stomach. Where had I ever seen him before this?

"Ali," I glanced up from the waterskin to see Rowena with a look of concern. "Are you alright?" I smiled gently as she walked over from her spot, she took my hand with one of hers as she put a hand to my forehead.

"I'm…fine. I'll be okay." I assured her quietly. Rowena watched me very sternly, she knew that I did not tell her the truth. I blamed her for being a werewolf - practically impossible to lie to her. She explained my heart would pick up every time I lied and she could smell it on me, made me wonder what that must smell like but she said that it was very strong compared to some scents.

"Are you sure?" Rowena glanced at Ralof who had looked up from the barrel he looked through. His eyes lingered on Rowena - as I watched him I couldn't help but hide a smile. His eyes wondered quite a bit for a supposedly honorable soldier.

"Mhm. Should we get going?" I questioned quietly. Rowena looked over her shoulder towards the other door, she held me tight rather suddenly and kissed the top of his head.

"I'll clear everything on ahead - I can't let you get hurt." My brows furrowed down at her suggestion. Did she mean that she would change? She promised she wouldn't. I remembered the first time she changed - it had been a horrifying experience. Not to be aware that a close friend is a werewolf, but to know that she was favored and hunted by Lord Hircine himself. If she changed he would know and begin the hunt anew. She had just recently began to sleep peaceful and would not toss or turn, she stopped waking in terror or paranoia that Hircine searched for her. She'd been safe. Rowena looked over at Ralof - she watched him like a hawk.

"Wait Rowena," I tried to say I could go with her, I wanted to tell her she did not have to go alone. I could fight - I learned quickly and wanted to prove that to her that what she taught me had not been tossed aside. However, Rowena hushed me as she wrapped her jacket around my shoulders - she looped the top lapel of the jacket. I huffed indignantly as she swaddled me like a wee little baby. I glanced over at Ralof in a pleading manner, Rowena should not change! She could get herself hurt - or worse.

"Rowena you should not go alone." Ralof put a hand on her shoulder, an attempt to make her see that she was not alone. I sighed quietly, maybe he could talk sense into my giant oaf. Rowena glared and shrugged off his hand. She took off her blue sash and wrapped it around me like a scarf. I grumbled once more, I loved Rowena dearly, I really did. She was like a sister to me - but sometimes, I wished she would treat me as an equal and not a newborn.

"No. I…I want someone here, with Alistair. I…it would…it will be faster if I go alone. I just…please, watch over her." Rowena spoke tiredly as she started to move towards the door. I grabbed her hand as she started to get out of reach, she turned to me with a raised brow, her eyes revealed nothing.

"You are not going alone," I planted myself firmly in place, I tried my best to sound stern and cross. Ralof put a hand to his mouth and I glared at him. "Something funny, blondie?" I growled, when Rowena said it - it always sounded commanding and had that edge of danger. When I said it…well…I sounded like a child. How old was I!? Rowena chuckled and I turned back to her, I crossed my arms angrily and Rowena became quiet.

"That was adorable." Ralof chuckled as he stood at Rowena's side. I opened my mouth to retort but Rowena slapped him upside the head.

"Do not baby her." Funny, coming from her. Even Ralof looked a little confused at her words - he shrugged and held his hands up in surrender, a charmed grin took the kind smile he'd shown me. I tilted my head, poor man…he'd never even get that close to Rowena. He was not her type, Rowena always had a thing for…rough men - their looks anyway - and while Ralof did have a rugged charm about him…he didn't even hold a candle to the last man.

"I want Ralof to go with you. No one is in here, I can blockade that door there and leave the one you guys exit open for when you return. How's that?" I suggested instantly as I looked to where we came from. I looked back at Rowena who tapped her thumb, she paced slowly, her thumb came to her mouth as she slowly nibbled at the nail. No doubt thinking of anything that could go wrong. She glanced at me and I nodded encouragingly. She sighed heavily, her movements were quick as she went into the other room and tipped over one of the dresses and began to push. I started to move forward to help her but, Ralof put a hand on my shoulder and lead me to a chair and sat me there.

"I'll help her," He smiled softly. "Rest." He turned and moved to help Rowena push it. With both of them it only took a few minutes to blockade the other door. With that in the way - they were both sure that I wouldn't be in harm's way. Rowena came over and rested her forehead on mine.

"I'll be back soon," With that - Rowena and Ralof left and left me to my thoughts.

"Don't worry about Rowena. She can handle herself," I murmured quietly to myself, watching where they vanished.

Patiently I waited for Rowena and Ralof when suddenly I heard a thump at the door. Soft and almost hesitant. The door thumped again and I realized someone was trying to get in. I blinked unsure of what to do, carefully I moved to one of the fallen soldiers and grabbed their weapon - I raised it to face the door - prepared for a fight. However, the door blasted open. I fell over from shock and the sudden debris that flew my way. When things settled and the dust cleared, I saw a man that just stood in the doorway, his eyes trained solely on me.

He had pale skin with what seemed like a silvery undertone - not metallic…just…it sparkled very gently and just barely noticeable. He had long, long black hair and its thickness gave it a seemingly coarse texture. He had an angular face with a strong outline. He only seemed to be a couple heads taller than myself, with broad shoulders but a very lithe figure. I froze as my eyes moved further up, I had no idea how I missed it before. He had horns. They curled back against his head like ears - they looked elegant and were as dark as ebony. I started to notice bits of scales at the edge of his cheek bones and the top of his forehead. I did not feel scared however…it felt…normal. I blinked as I watched his maroon eyes glow - they roved over me, which slowly made me worry. Why did he watch me like that? Should I call for Rowena? Should I summon a daedra?

"Are…Alistair…is that….are you real?" My heart ached instantly when I heard him speak. His voice barely raised over a whisper, his eyes showed so much pain I thought perhaps I'd soon feel it to. The way his voice cracked and the outreach of his hand made my head hurt, like someone thumped me on the back of my head. I winced and reached up to touch the back of my head.

Am I imagining things?

Why does he seem so…familiar?

More importantly…how does he know my name?

He moved forward and I jerked back, my head hit the back of the table. I yelped in pain as I rubbed where I whacked it - quite suddenly I felt someone else hold me still. I looked at the man's feet, he moved the back of my hair about so gently that it was hard to believe that he had broken that door down. He pulled away and tilted my head upwards - his fingers grasped my chin. "You have to be real…" He whispered again.

"I…I think I am?" I didn't know what to do. This man did not feel dangerous to me, at all. Normally, I would always have a suspicion of someone or have a gut-feeling, which most always ended up being right. Nothing…I got nothing like that from him. I felt confused with my bodily instinct. Instead of shying away from this stranger like normal, I seemed to melt by his touch. My stomach twisted uncomfortably and my heart raced at his abrupt closeness. Attraction. This had to be attraction. He rested his forehead against mine - I felt something warm fall onto my cheeks. Tears.

This man cried for me?

Why?

I felt a sudden urge, a desire, to comfort him - to stop his tears. "H-h-hey…it's…it's okay?" I hesitantly reached up and used my thumbs to wipe his tears. The moment my fingers splayed on his face, his hands shot up and grasped my wrists. I yelped in sudden shock and tried to jerk away from him. His grasp loosened slightly, but his eyes had narrowed at me.

"How can you say that," He sounded very angry now. "I thought you were dead, you foolish woman!" He shouted now, his arms came to wrap around me tightly. He held me there so tight it hurt and made it hard to breath. He nuzzled his face to the crook of my neck - what stubble he had tickled my neck making me tilt towards him.

He knew me.

He knew me!  
  
He knew who I was!

"You…you know who I am?" I stammered quietly. He seemed to freeze up again, he pulled away this time his eyes were filled with confusion.

"What…?" My hands came to grasp his robes tightly. I wanted to know who I was, he could tell me!

"You know who I am!" I exclaimed in exasperation.

"You…dii umriid…do you not remember…?" He still held me, but he took another step away.

"…no…I…I only remember my name - and that I had been in ice. But Rowena told me that. She said…she said she'd gone to the lands of the north, searching for ancient relics to sell. But…they found me. In ice - frozen but still breathing. When she touched it…it broke. But, you know me! Can you tell me who I am?" I desperately tried to draw out any answers, but he just stood stock still. I feared maybe he would just walk away but instead he grabbed a chair and as he passed me he scooped me up into his arm, I squeaked from the contact but just stayed still as he dropped the chair beside the fireplace and gently sat me in it. He crouched low at my feet and held my hands, his eyes filled with pain. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. His eyes fell to my lap.

I shivered and pulled Rowena's jacket tighter around me. "You are cold…" He murmured quietly as he buttoned one other lapel for me. I opened my mouth to thank him but he turned towards the fire and whispered, "Yol." The word thrummed in the air, I felt a pull in my soul as if it wrapped around the word. I saw a burst of reds and oranges burst from the man and it exploded in the fireplace. Embers shot up but I did not blink.

Fire had never burned me

  
"How did you do that?" I murmured in shock. He took my hands once more, he pulled at them till I met his eyes.

"You used to be able to do that, almost better than I." He seemed very sad now.

"…who are you?" I wanted an answer, a straight one.

"Alduin…I am Alduin, the first son of Akatosh." I just stared at him for the longest time, I was in disbelief. How is that possible? He took a deeper breath. "And you are Alistair Farseer…chosen by Akatosh as Champion…and…Dovahkiin." I froze at that - I blinked for the longest time in shock.

Dovahkiin?

Dovahkiin…?

My head throbbed and my vision blurred, the man tried to say something but it fell on deaf ears.

Dragon…kiin?

Dovah - dragon. Dragon. Dragons.

Dragonborn.

Born of Dragons?

**_The World-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the Last Dragonborn._ **

" _ **World Eater**_ ," I felt a pain radiate from my chest. My headache thundered now, my vision turned red. " ** _Have you returned to sate your thirst? Do you still blame mortals for the sin of taking the most precious treasure you have? Time turns on time - thrust from the ages - the Last Dragonborn…Dovahkiin…and the World-Eater will fight. Doomed to the fate of death. Doomed to forsake one another over differences unturned. Akatosh speaks now, through his mortal Champion, favored above all. Path upon path - entwined you are to the Child of Snow - the path of destruction, not yet sundered, will be toiled with sorrow and death. Take it and never will you be able to return_**." Instantly I gasped for breath, my throat felt like it had been set afire. I slumped forward and coughed, I felt the man hold me still. This felt better than Rowena squeezing me to death. Carefully he pulled me from the chair and right against his side. My hands shook and I felt like water had filled my lungs. I shuddered as the warmth slowly returned to me.

 

"Please…" I wheezed quietly. "Why…why does this happen? Why was I chosen? _Who am I?"_ I felt tears fall over my cheeks. I could not understand what happened to me, I could not remember what happened to me. He knew…he knew! I wanted to know more than my name and titles. I wanted to know who my family had been. I wanted to know how I met him. I wanted to know if I had friends. I wanted to know their names. I wanted to remember childhood memories. I wanted to know me. I felt confused and hurt - why was this happening to me? The tears that fell slowly now rushed out like waterfalls. I sobbed and shook - I hurt all over and the confusion to this confrontation and the vision all piled on me far too fast.

"Shhh…shhh, mal dov," He murmured gently in my ear, "Dii zok ves umriid…you are safe. Breathe dii umriid, breathe." But my breathing stayed rapid. My vision started to blur slightly and I felt light-headed. All the colors started to mix. I felt him pull me into his lap, he laid my head over his heart. I heard the loud thumping - steady and rhythmic.

"Alistair, listen to my heart. Breathe with it…slowly mal dov, slowly." With his baritone voice constantly murmuring nonsense in my ear and the thud of his heart - I did manage to focus more on that than the chaotic information I'd received. I still cried but my vision focused again and I my head stopped pounding. I curled against his chest, the scent of spice and something I couldn't quite put my finger on lingered against his skin.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered quietly. I had no idea who he was and though he claimed to know me, I felt bad for breaking down like that in front of him. I felt the pause of his hand as he stroked my hair.

"Whatever for?" If I didn't know better, I'd say he smiled as he questioned me.

"Being a bother…" I hiccupped.

"Do not speak such nonsense," He let out a heavy sigh. "Frozen in ice for thousands of years, yet you still apologize for the smallest thing." That part he muttered, but being so close I heard him pretty clearly.

"I heard that," I stated sternly. He laughed lightly - I smiled - his laugh rumbled and vibrated through his chest. As I settled where I was, I noticed my hands no longer shook and my breathing had gone back to normal. Rowena could never calm me this fast…I wonder how I knew this man? "Will you answer any of my questions?" I held my breath in hope. I wanted to know. I had to know.

"In time." Alduin whispered, I could hear the pain in his tone. The way he cleared his voice and how it wavered ever so slightly.

"Why in time, why not now?" I pulled away to stare up at him. He watched me for a little bit, he brushed stray hands from my face. His hand came to rest on my cheek.

"Because, I am not ready to reopen those wounds." Alduin stared at me with a sad look in his eyes.

"Wounds?"

"Alis," He took in a deep breath - his eyes closed. "When you…I thought….I did not know you were stuck in ice for a very long time. I thought that…"

"You thought I died…" I stated quietly, I remembered his earlier words.

"Yes. I did. I am…Alistair I am not the same Alduin you once knew. Perhaps it is best your memories stay buried." My fists balled up and I felt myself jerk away from him as I stood up. I glared at him, my hands shook uncontrollably. A surge of electricity sparked dangerously around my hands - in turn Alduin stood to his feet, he took a step towards me, hands up.

"How can you say that?!" I demanded in rage. I took a step forward and shoved him hard, I saw shock cross his face. "They're my memories! It's my past, my history! I have a right to know! I have the only right! How dare you, how dare you! You-you- _you fucking bastard_!" I screamed as tears ran down my face. The words bubbled up and I could not stop the torrent. I surprised myself when I swore at him, and I continued swearing. My hands came up and I threw a punch, he easily grabbed it and slammed me against the fireplace.

" **Nahlom!**  Ho grut zey fah den joore! _You_ abandoned  _me_! You have no right!" He quickly silenced me with his own glare. I felt a shudder run down my back as he growled low - I felt fear take the place of my anger. I turned my head away from him as he held me there, clearly trying his best to stay calm. I felt his own hand shake as he held me in place.

"I don't remember," I whispered painfully. "I don't remember anything." I spoke in a hollowed tone.

"I understand - " He started to speak but I interrupted him. My anger flared, but I kept it in check better than moments ago.

"No you don't," I met his gaze equally now. His pupils narrowed. "How can you possibly understand what it's like to forget absolutely everything you ever cared for and only remember a name that means nothing. A name that without history is just that, a name. It has no depth, no pain, no kindness, no joy, no anger, nothing. It is just a title - a title given at birth. How could you understand what it's like to have visions, where you bleed from your eyes and choke on the metallic blood that is your own, yet not know why you have those visions. How could you possibly understand what it's like to look someone in the eyes - know that at one point you knew them - but you have no idea where from. That they make you feel more safe and comfortable than anyone, but you don't know why. How can you understand what it's like to look at the sky above and feel as though you belong up there, but have no idea why you feel that way. Tell me Alduin how do you understand to _just not know or understand anything_ about yourself?"

He stared at me for the longest time, I thought maybe I'd gotten through to him instead he released me and took a few steps away. "Viik ni! Vahr kend ho kos burk, kaag miil," He began to pace the room rather angrily, every now and again he'd turn to me and glare. Whatever he said, I did not like his tone of voice. He froze suddenly and turned towards the room Rowena and Ralof left from. He strode to me and grasped my hands tightly. He placed them over his heart and bent his head to rest on mine. Bewildered and not wanting to anger him more, I stood stock still. "Ho nis mindoraan fin sik se dovah…for daar Zu'u los frund. Zu'u bolog hein foral, zok ves umriid. Tiid lost hok ahrk mu lost ney volbur, daar Zu'u koraav. Nuz wah ho Zu'u vaat, revak Jud, nid hiitir fos koroas daar zahreik fen nunon dron fah ho." He spoke softly into my ear, though I did not know what he spoke I would be a fool not to understand the tenderness that each word held. I rested my head over our hands - trying desperately to calm myself.

Alduin grabbed my chin and made me look up at him. "I must leave, Alistair." He whispered softly - he looked very torn.

"Will I see you again?" I inquired with a soft murmur, my anger I had left and I wanted him at my side. I felt a strange panic at the notion of his departure. It scared me how attached I'd become with him so quickly.

"This will not be the last you see of me, umriid. I swear to you, it is not," With that he pressed his lips gently to my forehead. "I cannot give you the answers you seek. Perhaps you may find some in the underbelly of Jorrvaskr. Hall of the Companions." I tilted my head and before I could ask why I should go there, he vanished in an instant. I blinked and looked around the room, and saw nothing.

  
The door to the other room slammed open and Rowena came around the corner with a crazed look in her eye. She froze when she came closer, I saw her head tilt up and I heard the soft sniff she gave the air. Her eyes roved to the door that looked like ten strong men had busted it down. She looked back to me, caution in her eye. "Ali…what happened here?" She questioned, Ralof rushed in a second later. He paused to when he saw the door. 

"I have no idea…" I whispered quietly. Rowena took a long look at me before she grabbed my forearm and pulled me to the other room. As I watched the hall start to fill with smoke, I saw red eyes follow me until we disappeared to the other room.

Who had he...to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you want the translation right next to the text for further chapters. Or beneath what they say, just in the chapter so you don't have to scroll up and down to see what is being said.
> 
> Dii zok ves umriid - My most precious treasure
> 
> Mal dov - little dragon
> 
> Nahlom! Ho grut zey fah den joore - Silence! You betrayed me for those mortals
> 
> Viik ni! Vahr kend ho kos burk, kaag miil! - Damn it!! Why must you be so difficult, blasted woman!
> 
> Ho nis mindoraan fin sik se dovah…for daar Zu'u los frund. Zu'u bolog hein foral, zok ves umriid. Tiid lost hok ahrk mu lost ney volbur, daar Zu'u koraav. Nuz wah ho Zu'u vaat, revak Jud, nid hiitir fos koroas daar zahreik fen nunon dron fah ho. - You cannot understand the word of dragons...for this I am glad. I beg your forgiveness, most precious treasure. Time has passed and we both changed, this I see. But to you I swear, sacred Queen, no matter what happens this heart will only ever beat for you.


	5. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alistair's P.O.V  
> Now I just want to make a quick note and clear up the whole dream thing, Alduin erases her current memories with the ones that hold him. Alistair knows she has a deep history with him but doesn't know just how deep (if that makes sense), she knows full well that her body is comfortable with him while her mind is screaming not to trust him. She knows she desires Alduin and that he's a really big distraction. So being the love-boat that he is, he agrees to erase those memories they created after meeting so that she won't be distracted by him - this way her sole focus will be on regaining all her memories not just ones with him, and she'll remember the good and bad of her history.

_A soft mist covered the bottom of the forest, a gentle gold emanated from the sun which slowly rose above the horizon. As I breathed in the scent of freshly dewed grass and pine filled my senses. I moved towards the sound of running water - I soon found a creek, a dark blue but still clear to the bottom. I followed it till I burst from the forest which had surrounded me and stepped out towards a large pond. Around the pond scented and very colorful mountain flowers surrounded the rim. Some of the flowers gave off a glow. I smiled as I stepped towards the edge of the water - I noticed I wore a soft silky white dress, very plain, very simple…I picked up the bottom of my dress and put my feet into the warmed water._

_Blissful…_

_I hummed to myself gently, I started to run my hand through the loose curls of my hair. I let out a heavy breath. "Ahnok, krein se dii laas," A deep voice resounded behind me. I turned to see Alduin, he sat on a boulder just beside me. He looked no different - perhaps more peaceful - and instead of the cloak that hid him from others, he wore a dark fur around his waist and nothing more…the planes of his chest looked chiseled and had strange scars on the side of his abdomen. I felt my face heat up and I quickly turned my gaze away from him. "You look upset, dii umriid."_

 

_(Ahnok, krein se dii laas - hello sun of my life / dii umriid - my treasure)_

 

_No longer did I feel bliss, I felt a mixture of attraction and anger. An anger towards Alduin, for he kept my precious memories away from me. He always changed the subject and when I pushed he became angry - in turn angering me. This has been going on since the moment Rowena, Ralof, and I had reached Riverwood. This man, who refused to speak of our past, invaded my every thought. Whenever I would be by myself he would appear, but his favorite time to show himself is when I dreamt. It angered me greatly that he would always appear with that soft smile on his face, a crinkle at the corner of his eyes, as if nothing happened. I could not escape him like I so desperately wished, at this point, his presence only served to hurt me in some manner whether it affected my emotional state or physical - normally both._

_"Would you not be angered if someone ruined such a peaceful dream?" I murmured as I continued to comb my hair with my fingers, I paused when I felt him brush against my back. I heard him crouch behind me, one leg came to rest next to mine, the other stayed by my side. His arms wrapped lazily around my waist, I continued to comb my hair - attempt as I might, I knew he felt the reaction my body gave him as I started to lean back against him, quickly tensing and jerking up as I tried not to react to his touch._

_"It can still be a peaceful dream, a blissful…pleasurable, peaceful dream." He whispered against my ear, I shivered instantly. A pang shot through the tips of my ear. I shook him off and moved further from him. When I glanced over he stared into the water, I could see he was not pleased with my actions._

_"I have no doubts that it could," I called to him gently, it would be no use to get angry with him, the last time proved to cause Rowena distress - apparently I had started to shout in my sleep in a strange tongue none of them could decipher. I knew it was not the tongue he spoke, but another. Kittias said it might be ancient Atmoran that I had spoken. "However, I would only ever give myself to a man I knew." I said that part pointedly. His head snapped over to me instantly, his eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed down._

_"You know me," Alduin growled as he got up, he started to stalk over to me and I danced gracefully out of his way._

_"I fear I do not," I countered as I tapped the side of my head. "Not only do I not hold any memories of you - just vague feelings of attraction - but as you said, you are not the same Alduin I knew." I hummed, pleased at how calm I kept myself and how angry he was getting. He sped up but I kept pace and just barely stayed out of reach._

_"Alis, do not play games with me." Alduin warned and I laughed bitterly._

_"Is that not what you do? Are you not playing games…with my past, my mind, my body and soul?" Abruptly he stopped. He stared at me for a time._

_"You think I am playing games?" He inquired quietly._

_"Should I think differently," I paused as well. I wrapped a hand around the trunk off the tree beside me. I noticed that the leaves were brilliant reds and golds, each swayed gently in the breeze that kissed my skin. "Alduin - what do you expect from me if you cannot help me with my memories?" I questioned him. Sadly I moved towards him, I paused when I got in arms reach._

_"Dii umriid," He sighed quietly. He came towards me and I started back but he cleared his throat and held both hands up. I stopped and he just stood in front of me. He brushed a few strands from my face. "Always so smart with words, zilf sahkren…"_

 

_(Dii umriid - my treasure / zilf sahkren - silver tongue)_

 

_"Violence is not something I condone. My words are my greatest weapon." I smiled softly, this time he returned it and I felt that smile._

_"Indeed they are," He looked at me, and just watched me. "Alis…" He paused his voice trailed off._

_"Alduin," His eyes searched mine questioningly. "Why do I feel like this?"_

_"Like what?"_

_"…like I want to be back in the ice," I spoke flatly and his eyes widened. "This is all too much. Barely even a week ago I thought I was just a girl who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up in an iceberg. Now…everything is changing so fast and I don't understand any of it. I've seen you once and felt…loved. You claim to have loved me yet you refuse to help me with my history, to help me understand why I feel like this and why everything is changing. All you seem to want is my flesh - I don't understand Alduin. I…I just want it to stop." He stared at me longer, pain welled in his eyes. I heard his heart skip beats._

_"Forgive me," He whispered so quietly I barely heard him. "You think all I wish is for your flesh. This is not true - I desire you, yes, but I desire much more than just your body Alistair. I desire you. I desire for us to be as we once were, though it is becoming clear that we cannot return to that time. Tell me, what must I do to prove to you, that what I have said to you is true?"_

_I watched him for a long time. What could he do to prove his words were truth? I stared at the ground for a time. "Leave," I heard the pause in his breath. I looked back to him with an ache in my heart. "Leave until I call for you. Prove to me that you can stay away till I regain my memories, even if it's just a few. If you do not want to help me than you only burden me with confusion and bring harm to my soul." I tried to keep the waiver from my tone. Though I'd only been with Alduin for a week, I felt a bond stronger than anything I've come to know, it had been absolutely intoxicating, a delicious intoxication. One that proved to be not only distracting but also consuming. He could be deviously charming when he wanted, with an air of haughtiness about him. His anger could turn on a dime, though normally, it never seemed pointed at me but people who tried to speak with me - especially when they tried to touch me. He seemed to care deeply about my wellbeing and often snuck around Rowena in order to ensure I slept well. However, I noticed he kept me at arm's length whenever we were around each other._

_"Do you tire of my company?" He tilted his head, a sad smile took place on the planes of his face. I placed my hand upon his cheek with a small smile of my own_

_  
"Tire of your company? Never," I sighed heavily as I rested my head on his chest. "You confuse me Alduin. First I feel as though you want to see me soar into the air and never let my feet touch the ground, and others I think you wish me nothing but ruin. Alduin - what we have is like venom, an intoxication, a drug if you will. It is exhilarating at first but then it becomes too much, Alduin how much have we fought since I've seen you? I can honestly say it has been almost every time I've laid eyes on you, and yet I still find myself unable to be truly angry. I still find myself eager to see you, to be near you. This is…suffocating Alduin. I've no idea why I feel this way - why I fell so harshly for you. Is it because we had a long history? Or perhaps you were a romantic? Maybe it is because of my heritage that I feel so strongly. And yet…though I tell you this you still refuse to speak to me of my past. Tell me Alduin, whatever I did to you, is it truly so bad?" I saw his eyes widen and he chuckled softly._

 

_"Still as observant as ever," He hooked my arm through his and we simply began to walk. The scenery changed and suddenly Alduin wore black armor that glinted dangerously in the light of the midday sun. The sky seemed darker than normal - but the blue was no less beautiful. We now walked on cobbled stone and a towering structure laid not too far from where we walked. "I'll admit, I am…displeased with what you did. I felt…I feel…like you abandoned me. As though you chose…him over me. That angered be, however I find myself more angry with Father and his foolish joore (mortals). They have taken everything from me. You…my brothers…my right to rule this place. Father gave it to them. To mortals…that…that is unforgivable." The way Alduin spoke made me shudder, my brows furrowed down as he spoke._

_"Am I not mortal?" I pointed out, though I did have the soul of a dragon as Alduin said, I still had the mortality of man._

_"No. You are my kin, stuck in that form." He smiled briefly as we continued to walk. Silence took our space._

_"Will you agree to my request?" I inquired gently. Though I wished to see more of Alduin - I knew what would be best for me. Seeing Alduin like this was too much a temptation. I could not afford to lose sight of who I came to be in the time I woke up. Not again._

_He paused and turned to face me, "Until you call for me, I will not show my face to you. I will let you search for your history, but know that I have set you on the right path. If you remember the smallest of details, I have no doubt that you will unlock your memories." I watched him for a time, his maroon eyes watched right back. It would be best not to see Alduin until I knew for certain what happened between us._

_"That would be best." I murmured dejectedly. Why could things not just be simple? Why must I go seek my history when I could just get the answers from him?_

_Alduin nodded, he started to release me but hesitated. "Alistair," He muttered quietly. I looked to him, I wished for him to just leave without a word. It would be easier to bear. "My sweet Alis….my most sacred Queen…my treasure. You who holds my heart so dearly, yet we are never to be. With the path I choose…it is best you do not remember us. Which is why…you'll remember nothing of our encounters thus far. I wish you sweet dreams. You who lit my skies like the sun itself. My precious Alistair, until you find your destiny, this will not be the last I see of you. Goodbye Alistair," He smiled oh so sadly, and kissed my forehead._

_And like that - he vanished._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I woke with a start, my hands knotted tightly in the furs. I shook my head and grasped it tightly, my hands ran over my face as I sighed heavily. I felt light-headed and fuzzy like I had just gotten a head rush. My heart ached strangely and for the life of me I could not remember what I woke from. Had it been a nightmare? The more I tried to think on it, the more my head started to hurt. What…what happened to me? I almost felt like I had a hangover - just not quite as bad. I swung my feet out of the bed and I felt a hand grab my shoulder so suddenly that I jerked away in surprise.

Unfortunately that caused me to fall from the bed in the process. I heard a loud groan and a grunt on the other side of the room. "She alright?" I heard a whisper, probably Kittias. He had the floor next to Milomeel while Rowena and I had taken the double across from them.

I felt bad to wake them so early, but a sudden desire to be outside in the open rushed through me like a tidal wave. "M'fine…just a bad dream." That had to be what it had been. Why else would I wake with such a panic?

"If you say so, come back to bed, makin' me worry." Rowena huffed quietly through the dark, I stood there my feet pointed me to the stairs that led to the upper floor of Gerdur's house. I _needed_ fresh air. My head just felt lighter and lighter, it made me wobble a bit. I stumbled as I bumped into the dresser underneath the stairs, my head thwacked against the wood and I growled to myself in irritation.

"I…I think I'll go for a walk, actually." I furrowed my brow as I felt around for a cloak. As I patted the dresser, my hands brushed against the burlap cloak I had been given from Ralof. At first I had been aggravated with him because he told me I had to wear it outside of his sister's house. He explained that the difference in my appearance would cause a stir with the townsfolk and no doubt bring unwanted suitors or curious people. It had become a bother - but one I soon got used to.

"Want me to go with you?" Rowena offered lowly, I paused on the fourth step of the stairs. My hand had reached up to grab the top rim of the stairs as I tried to steady myself. I knew full well that Rowena has been worried about me since the moment we left Helgen. In truth, I had no idea what the problem had been caused by, or what it even was, but I knew I'd been acting different. I had become more solitary and often opted for very long walks by myself. I felt as though there were gaps in my thoughts, when I looked back on the events that happened over the week - there were parts of those memories missing, it felt like someone had torn it apart like a piece of parchment. Since I could not figure out the problem, I just…kept it to myself.

"N-no…I just…Rowena…I'm…ever since Helgen…I can't…somethings _wrong_ with me. I just…I want some time to myself." I whispered quietly as headed up the rest of the steps. I shuffled carefully in an attempt not to wake Ralof's family, I had my hands out in front of me searching for the iron lift of the door knob. My hands touched the cold metal and I felt a flood of relief flow through me. I opened the door very carefully and slipped out into the early sunshine. I needed fresh air, I took in a deep breath and my senses became filled with the fresh scent of pine and grass - a familiar scent. The birds chirped cheerily as if to greet me, and the crickets quieted as my bare feet padded across the dirt. I felt the burlap cloak warm as the sunlight shone down on me. I snuggled deeper into the sabre cat linen, the soft fur heated against my skin, a nice contrast to the cold breeze that chilled the morning air. I moved till I reached the small fishing dock behind Gerdur's wood mill. I sat on the edge and let my feet dangle over the side.

Whiterun…Gerdur needed one of us to go there and warn the Jarl and his men of the dragon that showed up at Helgen…but Rowena, Kittias and Milomeel were pirates and needed to get back to the Notaulus. These people needed more guards to protect them, and who would do it if not one of us? All these people had families and were not trained in any type of battle. The only person I could think of is a drunk and wouldn't make it five steps from the tavern, if that much.

Gerdur had opened her doors willingly to us, even though we were wanted criminals. She allowed us to stay so long around her husband and child, feeding us, giving us shelter, and even buying us new clothes. I _wanted_ to help Gerdur. She'd been nothing but kind to forget such kindness in an age like this would be an act not forgiven easily. I also realized an old friend may yet still live there. If I were correct, Rowena's last partner lives in Whiterun. A Companion who had been hired to capture Rowena and take her to the Imperial City…didn't quite work out like either expected. Rowena had really fallen for that man…he had lied to the crew and told them that he was a mercenary. When Rowena found out who he really was, she went berserk. For some reason, Rowena hated the Companions with a passion, I don't think I've ever seen her get fired up as fast as she does when the Companions are mentioned. She had thrown him in the lower parts of the deck and planned to set him free in the middle of the ocean with little water and food. Even I thought that was cruel.

I set him free the night after her anger subsided - I really liked him. He treated the whole crew well, one thing Rowena had been attracted to. He never treated them like scoundrels, but as equals. In the short time I had known him, he had been very kind. A gentle giant as I came to call him.

I remember whenever we docked and I went for a walk, he always followed me. I asked why he chose to follow me and not go with the others to the taverns, and he had told me that he worried others might try to take advantage of me and wanted to make sure I was okay. At first I had been irritated but he also told me that he thought of me like a little sister and I had been one of the more welcoming people on the ship - the bigger reason as to why he chose my company to the others. We had a lot of conversations, he had comforted me about my worries of my past. He had even helped me perfect my fighting skills with the sword. Told me I had a natural talent for this, and to keep practicing. But perhaps my favorite memory of that man was that at one point he helped me smuggle a puppy we found back on the ship. I smiled at that memory. We had hidden the poor little guy in his armor. When Rowena came we were both acting strange and she was getting mad at the both of us, till a bark sounded in his armor. Rowena's face had been priceless. A lot of good memories had come because of him.

He had been the first partner that made Rowena look different - she seemed happier. Her smile had really looked like a smile. Not the wearisome and stressed smile she always showed. It made me sad that things ended the way they did. However, what the man told me made me feel even worse. He had changed his mind and planned on telling Rowena the truth a few nights before she found out, apparently, he'd fallen for her just as strongly. He told me he never met anyone quite as stubborn as her, or anywhere near as loyal.

I missed him.

"Ali," I looked up to see Rowena, she stared at her feet and rubbed the back of her head. She came closer and crouched beside me. "I know you want to be alone, but I just…look, if something is bothering you…let me know. I want to help you, Alistair. And I get it, I really do - the whole wanting to be alone and keep things bottled up. Take a look at me, I do it every day. And let me tell you, holding things in…whatever it might be, it isn't good Ali." Rowena spoke gently, she patted the top of my head and started to get up and go, probably to let me think.

"Wait," I called to her and she turned around. I scooted over on my ledge and patted it. She grinned a little and came over to sit beside me. She sat next to me and I leaned on her shoulder. I curled up beside her, my head landed on her lap. She paused but started to play with my hair, that made me sleepy. "Rowena…something happened in Helgen. I think…I think I ran into someone from my past." I stated. As I recalled the only thing I could really remember was a fuzzy face. The more I thought about the gaps and the face, the more my gut screamed they were connected.

"Oh?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice.

"I…Rowena I want to track my past down. And I…I think I need to go to Whiterun." I paused and waited for the angry no, for her to jerk away and start to yell.

"Okay." I shot up in surprise, Rowena had a tired look on her face.

"Okay? You're okay with me going?" To be honest, I was baffled! I had not expected her to be so okay with this. She gave a snort and ruffled my head.

"I can't stop you," Rowena leaned back and looked up at the sky. "You've been with my crew for three years now…you've grown with us. We taught you basic defense skills and to be honest you've always been a natural fighter. Although, I'd like to talk to you about going to Whiterun." Rowena hesitated as she spoke.

"I'm all ears." I said excitedly.

"I promised you I would help you when you searched for your past, did I not?" Rowena inquired.

"You did,"

"I want to keep my promise Ali," Rowena responded seriously. "I'll make you a deal, you go to Whiterun and wait a month there. Gather all the information you can, learn any other place you gotta go to, and by the end of the month I'll be outside to continue your journey with you. I need to get back to Morthal and make sure the crew is okay. I can put Kittias in charge for a bit, the crew will understand. We've all had nothing but high hopes for you, getting your memories back and all." Rowena smiled and ruffled my hair. I smiled widely, relieved she would be so willing to let me go there.

"Even if it's Whiterun?" I couldn't help but poke a little, I somewhat had hopes that she could forgive the Companion.

"…I know where you're going with this. He lied to me, planned to betray me and my crew. I will not forgive him for that. But for you - I'll play nice." I pouted a bit. I understood where she was coming from, but even the crew had forgiven him after I explained that he had wanted to tell Rowena after the first month. But how do you come out and say, "Hi honey, I was originally supposed to capture you and bring you to the Imperials for an execution, but I've fallen madly for you! I'm sorry!", you really couldn't.

"He was really nice…" I poked at her a little bit more.

"Alistair. Enough." That tone…I barely ever heard that tone from her, whenever it's heard, just stop.

"I'm sorry, Rowena." Rowena stood up and brushed her pants off. She held out her hand and pulled me to her feet.

"It's alright, just…I do not…he was - Alistair in the end just leave it alone. Please?" I could tell from the way she spoke, she was by no means over him. I understood that much - he really had been a good man. The other two she's been with were absolutely horrid. Whenever they had looked at me, I felt…dirty. I hated them both and never understood why Rowena stayed for as long as she did with the first one - the second one didn't even last a week. Though the Companion had lied to her, Rowena still had feelings for him.

"Do you want me to stay away from him?" I inquired out of curiosity.

"…that would be preferable. Although…you'll probably need help. He's the only one in that city I want you to trust, if you get to know others, sure. But don't trust them right off the bat." She sighed heavily as we made our way back up to Gerdur's house.

"Okay," Technically, she never ordered me to. I smiled briefly at the thought of seeing him again. He had always been really easy to get along with, I felt that we had a really easy swing of things. I never felt attraction - though he was handsome - but instead I felt comradery. And unlike Rowena he didn't treat me like a baby, granted he did treat me like his sister. It would be a nice change not to be treated like a delicate porcelain doll. He had been someone who pushed me to do my best, Rowena usually just…let me slack off if I wanted. "I want to leave today." I stated sternly as we reached Gerdur's door.

"I understand," Rowena opened the door, Kittias and Milomeel were up and they were eating some food, Gerdur sat across from them, she smiled at them both as they talked adamantly. "Gerdur, a moment?" Rowena called as she came into the room fully. I figured I should head downstairs and grab what few belongings I had collected while my stay. I found one of the leather knapsacks and began to delicately fold the clothes Gerdur gave me, they had been hers when she was younger but she didn't fit them anymore. A few trinkets Kittias and Milomeel gave me from the store, and a flower crown that Dorthe and Frodnar wove for me. I smiled as I touched the bright purple and blue mountain flowers. Dorthe had also put in some lavenders and dragon tongue, both of which made it look and smell bright and wonderful.

"Hey Ali," Kittias came down the stairs, he braced himself on the ledge of the steps and stared at me somewhat confused. "What's goin' on?" He had lowered his voice a bit more, he glanced up where we could hear Rowena talk with Gerdur. I just gave a shrug.

"I'm leaving today," I smiled gently. I saw Kittias tense up instantly, he moved down the stairs and grabbed my wrist as I made sure that the more delicate objects wouldn't be ruined while I walked. His brilliant blue eyes were filled with concern.

"Alistair," Kittias glanced back up at the stairs. "Did something happen between you and Rowena?" He pulled me over to the bed and sat down. I chuckled a bit and pulled my hands from his. I patted his shoulder in an attempt of comfort.

"No nothing's happened between us," I responded as I picked my knapsack back up. "We plan to leave today, except I'll be…I'm going to Whiterun Kittias." I turned to him with a big smile on my face. He sat there for a time. I tilted my head curiously.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" Kittias prodded gently. I paused as I took a step onto the bottom step. Kittias had gotten up and approached me again, he stopped just in front of me. His dreadlocks fell over his shoulder as he leaned on the support beam just beside the stairs.

"I have learned…that…there is a strong possibility that…well," I hesitated not entirely sure I should say anything. I did not want to worry anyone, but at the same time I had gotten to be very close with Kittias. I knew I could trust him. "Well, I think that I can track pieces of my past there. I also want to help Gerdur, she's been very kind to us, we shouldn't just ignore what she's done for us." Kittias nodded in thought, his brows came to furrow down.

"I see, is Rowena or someone going with you?" Kittias inquired.

"No? You're all wanted Kittias, Whiterun is one of the more strict Holds. I don't want any of you to be in trouble just to help me." I explained gently. Kittias folded his arms tightly across his chest. His eyes narrowed considerably.

"You may not want to trouble us, but perhaps we don't mind. Alistair, the world isn't what you make it to be." He sighed in exasperation. I took a step from the stairs and folded my arms over my chest. I stood a little straighter and set my jaw.

"And what exactly, do I make the world to be?" I knew exactly what he thought. That I was some naïve country girl who knew nothing. I knew full well the dangers of the world, what people were capable of, who I should and shouldn't trust. I knew full well that the world had bad people in it, but I chose to see the good, often deceiving people into thinking I was a naïve little girl.

"You trust people far too much, one of us should come with you. You aren't as strong as you think you are Alistair," Kittias explained I felt his temper grow in his words. I glared at him harshly.

"How dare you," I jabbed his chest with my finger. "Just because I choose to see the good, does not mean I overlook the bad! I know full well what lies beyond these doors, I know full well that I will be a target because I have a lither physique. I also know that I shouldn't trust anyone I do not know well. I am no fool Kittias, and how dare you underestimate me because of such things! I am not some milkmaid, I can protect myself." With that I turned on my heel and headed upstairs. Kittias grabbed my forearm, he stopped me before I even got to the third step. His iris had a golden glow around the rim. I froze.

"I never said you were a milkmaid or that you were a fool," Kittias growled. "Don't put words in my mouth Alistair."

"Is that not what you were implying?" I shot back instantly. I heard Rowena stop talking, no doubt she felt Kittias' disturbance. He was, after all, part of her pack.

"No, yes, maybe - fuck I don't know," Kittias pulled me back down the steps. I tensed up and prepared myself for what may happen. "Ali…I meant…I just…I don't want anything to happen to you. I'd feel…much…I'd feel better if…if someone went with you. Maybe Rowena would let me go with you, I just…what if something does happen? How will we know?" I relaxed when Kittias calmed. He let go of my arm and rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes watched his feet.

"I understand where you're coming from Kittias," I spoke slowly to make sure I did not mess up my message. "But…you cannot come with me. You are a _wanted criminal_. Whiterun is only an hour or so away, it won't take me long to get there. I don't plan on leaving the walls once I get there, Rowena and I have a plan, okay?" I patted Kittias' shoulder gently. He just stared at me for a time, suddenly we heard Rowena's voice from the top of the stairs.

"Kittias, pack your bags. Now." The tone in her voice had been hard to miss, she had a very hard look on her face. Her eyes cold as she watched him.

"Yes Rowena." Kittias spoke shortly and turned on his heels and delved deeper into the room. Milomeel appeared behind Rowena's shoulder and moved past her to get down and get his own things together. He patted my head as he passed me. Rowena curled her finger at me in a gesture to come towards her, I carefully moved up the stairs and stood in front of Rowena. She grabbed my arm gently and pulled me outside the door, Gerdur seemed to be waiting for the both of us with a bow in hand. I briefly pondered if Rowena had asked Gerdur to come with me. But as I came to stand Gerdur handed me the bow along with a quiver full of steel arrows.

"Alistair," Rowena glanced back over at the door. "You need to go now." I blinked in shock, I took as step to the side. "Don't give me that look. It's not for the reason you think, the dragon was seen just a few moments ago." I felt my heart pick up at a rapid pace - the dragon already came back?

"Where is it now?" I questioned, I felt a surge of excitement and fear as I looked up into the sky. Suddenly I felt Rowena put a hand on my chin and forced me to look at her.

"Alistair Farseer, stay away from that fucking lizard. You saw what happened at Helgen, you know full well what that thing is capable of! Go to Whiterun, and don't you dare look back." Rowena growled roughly. I jerked away from her. She'd never man handled me like that before, what in Oblivion was wrong with her?

"What makes you think that I'll go looking for the dragon?" I folded my arms over my chest, Gerdur sighed heavily and interrupted us before Rowena could speak to me.

"Alistair, thank you for your help. Rowena, you and your men are free to stay a night or two more if necessary. I need to get to the mill before I'm missed." Gerdur gave us both tight hugs and walked off towards her mill. I watched her and turned back to Rowena who still stared at me. I sighed.

"I said that because you changed after that dragon appeared," Rowena said slowly. "I don't…I know that look. You get it every time you get curious. Go straight to Whiterun, please." I understood now why she acted so aggressively. She had always taken a role as a protector in my life, I suppose old habits die hard.  I looked to the path I had to take and back at Rowena.

"Can I say goodbye to them?" I glanced at the door, referring to Kittias and Milomeel.

"No," Rowena murmured quietly. "Sweetheart, Kittias…he…I don't think he can handle a goodbye right now." Kittias had seemed a bit more…harsh - I think that's the word I'm looking for.

"Are you sure?" I stared at the door, I really wanted to say goodbye. Rowena placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Honey, I promise you'll see us again. You're losin' light love, you need to go." Rowena smiled gently at me and gave a little push towards the path. Uncertainly I started on the path to Whiterun, I turned back to see Rowena standing there with her arms folded over her chest. She gave me a little wave before she ducked inside Gerdur's house.

I blinked a few times as my vision watered up. "Bye…" I lifted my hand a bit as I whispered to myself.

So my journey began.


	6. Whiterun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair P.O.V

It hadn't taken me too long to see Whiterun. I just started to pass Honningbrew Meadery when I heard a commotion further down the road. A giant stood in one of the farm lots and swung a giant club they all seemed to carry and it swung at smaller figures near its feet. Two had just managed to dodge while the other got slammed. _"Tiny things, stop hitting!"_ The voice clearly came from the giant as it roared at the people. I blinked…did it just…speak?

The more I listened the more it cried for them to stop. The Giant seemed to be lost when they attacked now it defended itself…

My legs moved faster than I thought I could, I stretched my feet out as I tried to get to the Giant. The poor thing seemed more confused than a child who  lost their mother in a marketplace. I could not just stand by and let it be slaughtered, not when I knew that it had only gotten itself lost. Just as the swordsman swung at the leg of the Giant I slid to block the hit with the bow Gerdur had given me. The swordsman yelled at me - rather incoherently - but managed to stop himself. "Stop! All of you stop!" I shouted as loud as I could, I quickly turned to the Giant who seemed to notice I had tried to defend it. I looked up at the creature that stared at me, the Giant's muscles still tense, its feet shuffled as if it were ready to run.

"Get out of the way!" I heard a scream behind me.

"If you attack it more, you'll only get it more angry!" I howled at them, I kept an eye on all of them. I took in a deep breath, I could communicate. I knew I could. _"Why are you hurting them?"_ Silence followed from the three warriors who had shouted at me. The Giant seemed taken aback. It crouched down, while the Giant stared, it poked me. Instantly I fell backwards from the sheer force of the poke, granted it probably hadn't meant to use so much strength. Maybe it did?

 _"You speak…my tongue?"_ The Giant blurbed out. He sounded so innocent, like a child who had yet to learn the ways of the world.

 _"Yes. Why are you hurting them?"_ I repeated, this time the Giant picked me up rather carefully. Once in his hands he staggered to the side. Below I heard movement and when I looked down, the warriors scrambled for their weapons. "I'm fine! Don't you dare attack!" I yelled at them as I sat in the Giant's palm. The Giant cradled me gently as if I were a small doll - and to him I probably was. As I glanced at my surroundings I became very aware just how high in the air I happened to be, I could easily be at the level of a second story house. Maybe third? I knew if Rowena were in my position she'd be throwing up - Rowena hated heights with a passion, but in actuality I loved being this high up and I wanted to go higher still.

 _"I lost…try get home but tiny things come and hurt."_ The Giant glared down at the three warriors who were all ready to attack. I noticed the bow woman still had her arrow notched and ready to fire. I turned myself in the Giant's palm and I felt him start to pull me back up, however I held onto his fingers as I looked directly down at her.

"Fire that shot and I'll put an arrow through your bloody knee." If those fools thought to attack while the Giant remained unarmed, with me in hand, they had another thing coming. This Giant could easily crush me just by being startled - which I would prefer not to happen, and I seemed to have made some progress!

"She won't Ali." I heard a familiar voice call back up to me. The swordsman let his sword go and walked to the bow woman and put his hand over the arrow. I could hear her growl from up here, she put the arrow into her quiver and folded her arms. The swordsman gave a thumbs up, but I hesitated. The baritone in his voice and the way it rumbled sounded familiar - not only but this man knew my name. I only knew one person in Whiterun and that was…I felt a bubble of excitement rush through me when I realized who that voice belonged to.

"Farkas! How lovely to see you again," I waved happily and I heard him chuckle as he waved back. "Be down in a bit, just give me a few. The poor guy's lost!"

"Be careful." I heard the edge in his tone, I put my thumb out as I turned back to the Giant who seemed very patient for me to speak to him again. Just as I was about to speak he plopped to the ground, dust flew up into my face as it sat cross-legged in the farm patch. I coughed a bit and tried to clear the dirt from my eyes. When I did, I found the Giant had  leaned over me, his eyes glanced between the warriors that surrounded us and me.

 _"Which way is home?"_ I noticed we garnered some attention so it would be best to get him home before the townsfolk have an uproar. The Giant looked around, I saw panic in his eyes as his head turned faster and faster. I glanced at Farkas who had come a little closer. "Which way is the closest Giant Camp? I don't think he remembers." I murmured quietly. Farkas easily pointed to the north east.

 _"Can't…doesn't remember."_ The Giant sniffled slowly. His head bent down in sadness. I carefully stood up on his palm and patted his face, he glanced at me in what seemed to be surprise. His brows were raised and his mouth opened. My nose crinkled automatically - even though this Giant seemed oh so very sweet - he did not hold hygiene in high regard.

 _"That's alright, my…new friend can guide you! I'll come with so he won't hurt you,"_ I pointed at Farkas and the Giant jerked up instantly, his eyes dead set on Farkas who started to shift towards his weapon. I also turned to glare my eyes staring pointedly at his hand. "Farkas, I need you to show him which way to go. And this way, people will be less likely to attack him."

"You're joking," Farkas chuckled a bit.

"Never in my life have I been more serious in all my life. Either you guide him, or I tell everyone about your little liaison with a criminal, _Companion_." I saw his face pale - his eyes narrowed considerably. I had no doubt in my mind he left out the bit of falling head over heels for Rowena. It was a bluff - granted - but he didn’t need to know that. He grumbled and started to move, the bow woman touched his arm while passing but he jerked it off and she turned to give me the coldest glare I've ever had.

 _"He hurt…"_ The Giant growled at me, he stood and put me in one palm as he grabbed his club. I tensed up instantly.

 _"He's okay. He didn't know what he was doing,"_ I spoke quickly as I tried to calm the Giant's nerves. He still seemed very cautious to follow. I noticed guards had started to come towards us as well. I needed him to follow Farkas. _"He's half-giant anyway so he won't hurt you anymore!"_ Desperate times call for desperate measures. The Giant froze, I had no idea if I just helped or signed my death wish. He stared at Farkas who had turned to look up. Farkas came up to the Giant's knee, or that was exasperated. But still in human standards Farkas was a beastly giant - giant standards….he must be puny. What happened next….just…oh dear.

 **The Giant started to laugh.** Not a little chuckle, not a snort of derision. Laugh - a loud bellowed laugh which would be audible to anyone as a laugh. It thundered over the area and shook the Giant's full frame. He crouched down as he got to Farkas' eye height. "What did you say," Farkas took a step back as the Giant snorted and continued his laugh.

"I may…or may not have told him you were half giant…" I said meekly, Farkas turned to me in shock. Suddenly the Giant patted Farkas' head and made a shoo motion. He placed me on his shoulder and I barely had time to grab a dreadlock that hung near his shoulder as he patted his stomach and lifted his club, his eyes trained on Farkas solely. "I think he's waiting for you to show him the way." I called down, in turn Farkas started to move at a face pace. The Giant easily kept stride with a simple walk. Soon we could see the mammoths and the gigantic bonfire in the distance. The Giant got really excited as he started to pick up his pace.

 _"Hey! Can you put me down?!"_ I panicked a bit at the thought of being permanently held by this Giant. I mean, he seemed very sweet but I had other things to do and…well…the mammoths terrified me for some reason. Docile creatures, but I just, I don't know they terrified me. The Giant paused and he crouched down. He put his palm out in front of his shoulder and I carefully stepped onto it. I held onto his thumb as he lowered me rather swiftly to the ground, Farkas came forward and held out his hands to help me down. I grabbed his forearms and braced myself as he pulled me out of the Giant's palm.

 _"Thank you little one."_ The Giant spoke sincerely before it ran towards the bonfire. I waved and felt happy to help, but suddenly Farkas smacked me upside the head. At first we stared at each other, his arms folded over his chest as he glared down at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but his glare broke into a brilliant smile and he threw his arms around me as he pulled me tightly to a bear hug.

"Where do you come up with these crazy ideas!" He yelled out. I patted his back and felt the air in my lungs being blown out in a startled yelp.

"Can't…can't breathe!" I patted his shoulder a bit harder and he let me go. He took a step back, he held my shoulders tightly as he grinned wolfishly at me. I gave a devious grin of my own as he pulled me into a headlock and started to walk towards the farms. I got a good grip on his arm and swung my leg to intercept his step - he staggered enough for his arm to loosen and I slipped away. He laughed and threw and arm around my shoulders, he gave my hair a good ruffle, and he started to lead us back towards the farm we had left.

"What're you doin' here?" Farkas questioned me as we descended a small hill back onto the road we had crossed. I felt myself get a little nervous, worried he would not be happy with my reason for being here.

"I have to speak to the Jarl," I stammered quietly, Farkas froze and raised a brow at me. I shuffled me feet as we came to a sudden stop, the farm had come into view, but clearly Farkas wanted more information than I had to speak with the Jarl. "…we were at Helgen." From what Gerdur told me, news would have traveled fast. But the sighting of the dragon near Riverwood may not, or they simply would not believe a dragon would be so close to Whiterun. Gerdur said she wanted someone who had seen Helgen's destruction to be the one to speak with the Jarl, because I would be more credible to the destruction I had seen.

"We?" Farkas stopped entirely now, his arm slid away from me as he turned to face me entirely. He crossed his arms over his chest and he became stern with his expression, his brows furrowed and his smile lilted.

"The ah…er…Rowena…and I…and the crew…" I murmured as I watched the grass move in a slow sway, much like the waves of the ocean. Though I knew he would not hurt me, nor would he get aggressive in the sense of physicality I really had no idea how Farkas would react to the news of Rowena being so close. It has almost been a year, that's a long time to build up a grudge. Would he be angry? No idea. Would he be worried? Not a clue.

"Is…are…are you all okay?" I looked up at Farkas, his eyes pained as he too had come to study his feet. I started to speak when suddenly an arm came to wrap around Farkas' shoulders. I turned to see the bow woman from before - her eyes appraised me and I stood straighter. Not only had she interrupted our conversation, but she stared at me like I was a piece of meat.

"Are you a fool? Don't bother to answer that, Vilkas always had the brains between the two of you. Whose this, icebrain?" She glanced between the both of us and I felt an indignancy rise in my chest. Farkas had only helped me, it wasn't as if he had been the one to speak to the Giant! How unbelievably rude, not only has she interrupted him but she's now compared Farkas to his own brother! She hadn't even let him speak! How many times have those people done that? From what Farkas said it always had been in good fun but seeing her exasperation and irritation, I very much doubted that.

"A good friend of mine," Farkas muttered. "Met her on my travels."

"Well," She let go of Farkas' shoulders and stood right in front of me. Though she wasn't much taller than me, it was enough for her to make a statement as she leaned down to look in my eyes. She grinned in a sickening sweet way. Clearly she had no love for me, or about as much I had for her. And with her first impression, "love" had flown out the coop. "Any friend of Farkas is a friend of ours." She held out her hand and I stared at it for a moment debating on the polite route or not. Let's go with not. Not only has she, in my most humble opinion, insulted Farkas - a man I consider to be a brother. But her tone and the way she leaned down to meet my eyes I felt like she would treat me as a naïve…foolish girl. It was one thing for Rowena and the crew to treat me like a naïve child, another thing entirely when people I did not know did it.

"Pleasure, Aela the Huntress." I kept my hands loose at me side - with no indication of shaking her hand. Farkas had mentioned her many times and with her attitude and the fact out of the two females he had come with, she seemed to be the only werewolf - and her reaction - she had to be Aela. Her eyebrows twitched momentarily as she let her hand fall. She watched me as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You seem to know my name, but I do not know yours." Aela growled slightly, she did not move back, instead she stared down at me rather pointedly. I smiled sweetly, I felt a the rise of a challenge in my tone as I spoke my next words.

"And I'd prefer to keep it that way," I retorted swiftly. "For if my name were to be said by someone so rude, I would truly shame my ancestors," I heard Farkas chuckle and Aela whirled on him, her eyes burned darkly and her irises flashed. My assumptions were confirmed instantly the moment the flare of musk and mongrel flared into my nostrils. "Careful Miss Aela - it would only hinder you to start the Hunt now." The subtle reference had her eyes widen just enough for me to notice. I would not be stepped over, nor would I allow Farkas to be. Whether he thought it to be good fun or not, I've decided I do not like this woman. She seemed arrogant and rude. Two things I truly did not like - always managed to make an ass of someone, and when combined, often a bitch. I brushed past her and stopped in front of Farkas.

"As always, you're quick with words!" Farkas clapped me on the back as he roared with laughter. I smiled gently as I picked up his sword, heavy in my hands but as he took it, he made it look like a feather. Easily he sheathed it back into the leather scabbard and put his arm back around me, I noticed a hard glare had been thrown in Aela's direction. I think he meant it so she would leave me be.

"Farkas," I started out carefully. "I am new to Whiterun, would you mind showing me which way to go so I may see the Jarl? Only if you have time of course." I did not want to bother his life here, he had no ties to me nor did he owe me any favors. Farkas rubbed his stubble in thought.

"It's on the way to Jorrvaskr, it won't be a problem," He hummed as we walked over the draw bridge. I pulled my hood tighter over my face, we started to walk against a crowd that seemed to be leaving Whiterun. I moved closer against Farkas and he held me a bit tighter. "You shouldn't have spoken to Aela like that. She won't forget." Farkas told me gently as we reached the gates. The guards gave a nod to him and let us in while others were stopped and most turned away.

"I should hope not - I meant what I said." I huffed indignantly.

"She meant well," Farkas muttered.

"I do not care whether she meant well or not. The fact is she insulted someone I consider to be a close and dear friend, not only but compared you to another. You were level-headed and were only ensuring my safety - if I am incorrect my sincerest apologies. But, calling you an icebrain for doing that, is absolutely…crass! Honestly! You've more patience than the sea has water! Not only, she introduced herself as if I were a child - her tone and actions lead me to believe that she thought me nothing more than a foolish tree-hugger! I am tired of others treating me as though I were a child, I may be younger than most people I meet, but by no means am I a fool and I will not be treated as such." I spoke exasperated at his calm demeanor of being insulted.

"You aren't a fool, you just value life. As for what she said to me…she's right," Farkas sighed. "Vilkas does have the brains, I got the muscle." Instantly I punched his side, he grabbed it and looked at me bewildered. We stopped in the middle of the road and he blinked at me in shock. I pointed my finger at him and jabbed his chest, still frustrated from my rant.

"Do not sell yourself short Farkas! You are only as "stupid" as you make yourself to be. Do not ever insult yourself in front of me again or I'll aim higher." At first Farkas just stared and then he smiled at me. He rubbed my head and continued to move forward. He replaced his arm over my shoulder as someone slammed against my side - they yelled to watch where I was going and I waved in apology.

"I'm real glad I met you Alicat." I grinned proudly under my hood as he used his pet name. He had to be the only person who used that nickname so it always made me feel a tad bit special. I glanced up at him as we moved through the crowds, being as tall and intimidating as he was, most people moved around us and we did not have a great deal of trouble getting by.

"I'm glad I met you as well," He tugged me to the side as we walked up some stairs. I paused, the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand on end. A sensation jolted down my spine - as if someone were watching me. I turned around to see someone in the crowd, frozen in place, he had an orange robe on and his hair looked like a very dark brown. I could not see very well with the yellow hood - but I assumed that had something to do with it being a priests robe. "Do you see that man?" I looked up at Farkas who had stopped as well, his eyes narrowed and his eyes scanned the bustling crowd below. He tensed instantly and grabbed my forearm roughly as he pulled me up the stairs.

"Alistair," Farkas looked over his shoulder as he led me past a great big tree. In the corner of my eye I saw the steps that led up to a very large building, the largest here, I assumed that had to be where the Jarl stayed. "Stay away from that guy." I tilted my head curiously, the man I had seen in the crowd came up the stairs and watched me a moment longer before he moved towards the very large statue where he began to preach. A Talos worshipper.

"Who is he?" I became curious about the weird man who Farkas seemed…antsy about.

"Heimskr, a Talos worshipper. He's…he isn't a good man Alistair. Stay away from him," The way Farkas had his jaw set and how he glared at Heimskr put me on edge. I had only seen Farkas get like that every now and again with strangers. I nodded in agreement. If Farkas didn't trust him, then I didn't either. "Dragonsreach is just up those steps. The Jarl should still be in the main hall at this hour." Farkas pointed to our right.

"Thank you Farkas," I said and started to move but Farkas stopped me. He had returned his attention to me - the tension had been overlaid with a kind smile.

"Hey," He scooted a bit and I realized he had moved to stand in front of me, obscuring my view of the Talos statue and it's preacher. "Once you finish your business with the Jarl you should come to Jorrvaskr, have a drink with me." The offer sounded nice - I had planned on locating the inn. But spending a little more time with Farkas sounded…comforting to the sudden shift in my life. I had always found it easier to speak with Farkas about my problems because he _listened_. Sometimes, I just wanted a good ear, not twelve-thousand ways to try and solve the problem.

"That sounds great," I patted his arms as he gave me a quick hug. He started to move but I caught his gauntlet by the latches. "But, where is Jorrvaskr?" I grinned as Farkas laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Forgot you haven't been to Whiterun," Farkas clapped me on the shoulder and moved me around the trunk of the tree. "Just there." As he pointed behind him, I saw a long building that seemed worn down. Shields were stacked around the top of the roof and as I looked at it, it seemed as though it had been made from a boat. Beside it there was a statue of an eagle. I twitched as a low hum started to build in my ear, I shook my head. The more I stared the more I started _to feel_ something from it, like it an inlaid enchantment carved against the stone. I tensed and the grip that I had on Farkas tightened as I stared at the eagle. I felt my breathing pick up - my heart started to race and I began to have tunnel vision.

"Alistair!" Farkas' scream brought me to attention. I hadn't realized it but I had fallen against his chest, we were both crouched against the path. Some stopped to stare, a guard approached rather hurriedly.

"She alright Companion?" Farkas nodded and waved him away, he pulled me to the side where a bench stood and helped me sit. I took in deep breaths, my hands shook dangerously. I coughed slightly, it shook my diaphragm. I wasn't having a vision. This felt like sheer terror that just came from nowhere. I blinked as my vision slowly returned. I held my head embarrassed by the scene I had caused.

"Alistair, what happened?" Farkas asked worriedly.

"I…thought I saw…" I glanced over my shoulder at the Eagle once more. No longer did that feel of panic wash over me, but a sense of foreboding or perhaps instinctual nervousness. I sighed, so many things have happened and I had no idea. "I thought I saw someone I knew." Farkas glanced over at Jorrvaskr and back to me.

"Do you want me to walk yo-" I knew what he was about to offer. I shook my head and righted myself, I brushed off my cloak and straightened it out.

"Thank you, but I'd prefer to go alone." I murmured quietly. Farkas nodded and took a few steps towards his destination.

"I'll see you in a bit Alicat!" He called to me his hand raised in a wave. I laughed and returned to wave and started up towards Dragonsreach. Thankfully, no one stopped me from entering as I reached the massive doors. As I reached the top of the floor where a large hearth could be seen, a Dunmer woman started to approach me with her weapon out. Startled I stopped and held my hands up.

"Stop," I raised a brow to myself, I already stopped. "Bloody guards can't even stop one person. Who are you and why do you approach the Jarl!" Her voice was commanding and her eyes roved over me as I shifted me weight.

"My name is Alistair Farseer," I stated as calmly as possible. "Gerdur of Riverwood sent me, I'm here about Helgen." She paused and straightened out of her stance. She sheathed her weapon instantly.

"Oh," She folded her arms and jerked her head up towards the man who sat on a throne. He had stopped talking with the other man beside him and watched our exchange. "That explains how you got in."

'Or I just walked in?' I thought to myself as I followed her up to the throne. I stopped at the bottom of the steps, it felt more respectful than just waltzing right up to the blonde man. I bowed carefully - not enough to lower my eyes but enough to show I meant no disrespect. I heard a huff to my left and the man who I now noticed seemed to be balding.

The man on the throne nodded his head in response and so I straightened myself out. "You say your name is Alistair Farseer, yet you will not show your face?" The Jarl said, his voice cautious and his eyes suspicious.

"Please do not take offense…I…I look strangely foreign. Many stare and ask questions, and I do not have the answers so I keep myself hidden." I explained quietly, in all fairness, I have never met anyone else with dark navy blue hair with one blue eye that always seemed to change shades and glimmered like a glossy scale and a very light brown eye that looked like fresh bark from a tree. Not to mention I looked like a cross-breed of Nord and Elf with my rather bony features yet still rounded and "jolly".

"I understand, but I prefer to see the face of whom I speak to," The Jarl stated strongly. I sighed and hesitantly brought my hands to the hood of my cloak as I slowly removed it from my face. It also helped that no one asked how I got my scar - yet another question I could not answer. Silence followed, I stared at my feet as I shifted from side to side. I somewhat wished I took Kittias' offer… "…you said you came from Helgen?" I heard his voice crack slightly in the beginning and he cleared his throat.

Right. "Yes, Gerdur sent me here. I've staying with her and her family for the last few days - recovering. I meant to come sooner…just…" I trailed off, I wanted to make sure that Milomeel had been alright, but I feared if I used names that I would become guilty by association.

"I understand," The Jarl spoke swiftly. "Is it true, was there a dragon?"

I twitched instantly. "Yes. It…the dragon demolished Helgen, when we first left it flew overhead and left. Apparently it returned and last we saw it was headed in this direction. It passed Whiterun not to long ago." I remember seeing it disappear into the sun as I made my way here. The Jarl sat forward on his chair his face drawn in a serious matter.

"I see, you've done enough. Go rest up - stay nearby, I may need assistance with another matter." The Jarl waved his hand and turned towards a guard, I cut him off just to be sure I wouldn't be asked to stay here.

"Actually," The Jarl turned to me with a raised brow. "I know someone from here, I'll be staying with him."

"Who? If I may,"

"Farkas, of the Companions," He became withdrawn a moment before he nodded. With that, the Dunmer led me back to the doors. I flipped the hood of my cloak just as a guard opened the door for me. I turned to the woman and gave a small smile. "Thanks for waiting." She gave a confused look but when I gestured to her sword. The Dunmer's expression softened and she gave a nod of her head.

I practically rushed down the stairs as I hurried to Jorrvaskr. Everything had been awkward and unwanted. I wish they hadn't made me remove my hood, I never understood that. I suppose they wanted to read my facial expression. Hard to do with a cloth over your face. Not to long after, I paused in front of the building Farkas had pointed out earlier. I hesitated with my fist raised - unsure of whether or not I should knock. Carefully I opened the doors and peaked in, I heard a loud yell and sudden cheers. I stepped in and shut the door behind me. My eyes caught movement furthest in the room. Two people were fighting one another, a Dunmer man and Nordic woman swung at each other, the sound of skin hitting skin was hard to mistake. Both seemed lithe but the woman seemed to be more at a brutal pace than the Dunmer. Mesmerized by their strange dance, I moved further into the room. I watched completely focused on them. The two yelled at each other a moment longer when suddenly the woman managed to hit the elf's temple.

"Alicat!" A roar from behind had me startled, but when familiar set of arms picked me up in a bear hug I relaxed. I laughed and patted his arms as he set me down easy. "How'd it go?" Farkas asked as he led me towards a table furthest from the warm hearth. I noticed a few people give looks, but did not say a word.

"They made me take my hood off," My voice sounded sour. Farkas chuckled as he uncorked a bottle of mead - offering me some but I declined. I preferred brandy to mead. I removed my hood once more, seeing as I was in company of a friend, I felt comfortable enough to do so. The other people for the most had scattered so I hoped they wouldn't be to curious about my presence.

"Your hair grew." Farkas stated as he pulled at one of my curls. I stuck my tongue out as I tugged on his own hair.

"No more than your own!" He laughed once more and took a swig from his mead. When he set it down, he seemed…at a loss.

"You really have grown," Farkas smiled briefly. He leaned back into his chair, his eyes trailed to his hands. He glanced at me. "How've you been."

I paused and picked up one of the spoons and tapped a mug with it. "Not good." I sighed as I leaned on my hand, I saw him lean forward.

"What's happened?" He inquired gently. I looked at him and then to the side.

"Honestly? No clue. Something happened at Helgen - I keep thinking that my mind got tampered with but at the same time I wonder if I'm just crazy." The gaps made no sense and when I asked Rowena, she remembered things much differently than I did which led me to believe I kept meeting someone and they erased my memories - more of them anyway.

"Why do you think that?" Farkas questioned more seriously.

"There are gaps. Lots of gaps this week - like I woke up this morning and just felt different but normal at the same time. When I tried to think back, I just got a feeling of panic and loss. When I talked to Rowena, she mentioned that I had been acting strange the whole week. I mentioned a few things, and she said something very different had happened. This whole thing with my memories, its why I'm here. I have…I've reason to believe I might find something about my past here." I trailed off and hesitantly glanced at Farkas. He leaned back into his chair, he rubbed his chin and looked over at the others who walked about. I noticed I had a few staring at me.

"I see." He said it so plainly, that I questioned whether or not he heard me. Anyone else would have given me the strangest look.

"So…you don't think I'm crazy?" I felt hopeful, because in all honesty, I swore I had been going mad.

"You were already crazy to begin with," He teased as he tugged my hair a little. I swatted at his hands, I glared at him but threw my feet over his legs. He raised a brow, I folded my arms over my chest and wriggled further into the chair. He laughed loudly and flicked my shoes. "No, but, I get what you mean. You've always been different Alistair - everything about you - from how you act to how you look. Something strange like this happening to you of all people? It's that far a stretch." Farkas explained, the way he said it actually made a lot of sense to me. I let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm real glad I came here…" I hummed quietly.

"Tired of the sea?" I glanced at Farkas who stared at his drink.

"…a little. It was a bit…suffocating at times. I love them, I really do but it's just like they're all overbearing parents." I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. I was grateful for all of them, for letting me into their little crew and showing me such kindness in my greatest hour of need. But even I needed to breathe. Farkas nodded thoughtfully.

"I understand," Farkas grimaced briefly, but it faded to a neutral expression.

"So how have you been?" I piped up with a smile. I loved when he told me stories of his travels, it made me feel like I had been there time and time again. He always had a way of making it more dramatic, which made it sound all the more exciting! Farkas grinned and started to pull at the patched spot of my trousers.  
"I've been alright," Farkas chuckled lightly, but the way he trailed off made me think different.

"That sounded so convincing, tell me more." He looked up at me as I raised a brow to him.

"Can't hide nothing from you," Farkas muttered a little. "I'm alright, promise. I just…nothing feels right anymore." Farkas sighed and leaned on his hand. I knew exactly who he was talking about, none other than Rowena Mistwalker. I gave a saddened smile.

"I know that feeling." I murmured gently, the way he spoke about it, ever since Helgen. I felt something was amiss, more than my memories.

"Yeah, how…is she…" Farkas hesitated as he spoke.

"Rowena? She is fine. Commanding as ever," He chuckled his eyes unfocused as he stared into space. "Aside from that, how've things been? Any new adventures?" I tried to lead the conversation to a more lighthearted topic.

"Not really, I've stayed in Skyrim since the war," Farkas looked a little irritated as he said that. "For the most part I've been off dealing with drunkards who make trouble for honest folk. You don't have a place to stay, do you?" Farkas abruptly asked me. I paused, curious to the question.

"No, I planned to stay at the inn." I hummed quietly. Farkas patted my legs and pushed them from his lap, when he stood he held his hand out to me. Still curious I took his hand and he brought me up out of the chair while he started to lead me towards a staircase that led down. "Where are we going?" I inquired as we went into the underbelly of Jorrvaskr. It seemed dimmer but bright candles lit the halls and created a very relaxed setting.

"I couldn't possibly let you stay at the inn," Farkas looked back at me as he pulled me down the hall. I followed rather obliviously as we passed a few people. "Talk to Kodlak, he might be willing to let you stay the month." We stopped at a double door at the end of the hall and he knocked on the door. I heard the talk on the other side freeze.

"Come in," I heard a deep voice on the other side - it had this scratchy voice to it that sounded nice and comforting. Farkas opened the door for me and carefully pushed me in. He took my cloak suddenly and I reached for it but he held it over my head. Easily Farkas put me in a head lock and pulled me towards two men who sat at a table furthest from the door. Both stared at me and I shifted into Farkas' side from sudden shyness. "Farkas?" The tone came in a clear questioning tone. The older man gave me a very curious look while the man who looked like Farkas glared at me darkly.

"You remember that girl I told you about, Alistair Farseer?" Farkas pushed me out in front of him, I dug my heels to the ground but ended up stumbling forward. I huffed as I smacked Farkas' arm. He chuckled at me again. Flustered, I brushed my hair back - I moved forward and held my hand out.

"It's an honor to meet the Harbinger, sir," I tried to speak clearly. I did  not want to talk more than needed. Kodlak got a sudden twinkle in his eye as he stood and took my hand. He started to give a squeeze, not rough but it became a bit uncomfortable. Not one to back down from a challenge, I gave a firm squeeze back. I noticed a smile under his beard as he sat back down.

"Oh, this is Vilkas. My brother," Farkas suddenly came behind me and gestured towards the brooder in the other corner. He just snorted at me in derision. These Companions were far more rude than I expected them to be.

"Likewise." I decided to ignore him as I face Kodlak only.

"What brings you here, Miss Farseer?" Kodlak questioned me.

I waved my hand in front of me. "Please, Alistair is fine," He nodded in acknowledgement and I felt Farkas push me a little with his arm. I smacked his arm as I grumbled. I took in a deep breath, "It depends, what brings me to Jorrvaskr, or what brings me to Whiterun?"

Kodlak chuckled, "Perhaps both would be wise to tell."

"I've come to Whiterun because I have no memories of my past. All I have is a name - I have reason to believe I may find answers here in this Hold," The old man leaned forward onto his knees and appraised me once more. "As for my being here for Jorrvaskr, that would be because of Farkas." I elbowed Farkas as he towered over me. Kodlak raised a brow once more but at Farkas this time.

"I offered her a place to stay," Farkas admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck  
Vilkas spoke up now, "She is not a Companion, she cannot stay." He growled angrily. I glanced at Farkas with a sigh heavy on my lips.

"Come now Vilkas, have a heart!" Farkas clapped him on the shoulder as Vilkas started to pace the room. He shrugged off his brother swiftly.

"Just because you bring some whoring bitch to our halls, does not mean we should help," I froze instantly at the insult. "She is not a Companion!" He snapped vehemently. Even Kodlak seemed taken aback by his sudden words.

"Yet you stay here?" I tilted my head in question.

"I am a Companion," Vilkas spat as he stood, I saw Kodlak start to move but I held my hand up. I stepped up to Vilkas and stared him down.

"I think not," I smiled calmly at him as his fists balled up. "For a true Companion would have stayed true to the ways of the warrior, not the beast. You seek the glory of the hunt, while a true Companion seeks honor, glory, and Sovngarde.  You've betrayed the founders of these Halls - yet you have the audacity to tell me I cannot stay. Perhaps I am a whore or perhaps I'm even a bitch, but at least I have not let go of morals for power and strength." Silence fell into the group, perhaps I went too far. I felt as though I knew what I spoke of, I knew that this should be the true path of a Companion. Both men looked at Farkas.

"Farkas," A dangerous tone had lilted into Kodlak's voice. I peered around Vilkas who had become rigid and frozen.

"Farkas never told me his abilities. Those closest to me and those I see as family are in the same predicament you find yourselves in, they to were blessed by Hircine. Being with them so long and having time to watch how differently they react to things has made it much easier to tell the likes," I stepped around Vilkas and walked over to Kodlak. I knelt to one knee, I did feel a little bad for what I said, because I knew it applied to all the Companions who accepted the blood of Hircine. "I do wish to ask for your forgiveness. My words moments ago were…cruel. My words were spoken quickly, born of anger, and not thought of entirely. I understand if you do not wish for me to stay in these Halls, Harbinger."

"You are so polite to me…yet you insult those under my wings."

"I have no problem with him saying I am not a Companion, but he does insult my honor by accusing me of being a whoring bitch in need of pity. I have done nothing to this man. How could I? This is the first time I ever met Vilkas, although it is not the first I heard of him. You see, Harbinger, though I may not have memories should I have not given retort, or rise to the ire that is clear in his voice? Not only does he insult me for appearance, no doubt, but also he insults me without even knowing me. Now while I did react in frustration, by no means am I apologetic. I will merely sit by and let someone toy with my name. In the end Harbinger, I am polite to you because you give me no reason to act otherwise, were it you in his shoes and he in yours, you would be the one on the receiving end."  My words came out clear as day. Kodlak watched me for a time and glanced over to Vilkas and Farkas who both stared at me. I had been wronged first, in my eyes I said nothing uncalled for.

Kodlak then tilted his head towards the seat where Vilkas had been seated. Carefully I sat myself down, I looked at Farkas, worried I had insulted him as well. Instead I saw a twinkle in his eyes, and a smile that looked like a father beaming proudly as his daughter. "You are right," Kodlak said slowly, I heard Vilkas growl lowly, but Farkas placed a hand roughly on his shoulders. Kodlak let out a heavy sigh. "But that does not change that only Companions can stay in these halls." I heard a satisfactory huff from Vilkas.

"Kodlak she has nowhere else to go," Farkas stepped forward, worry clear in his eyes. Kodlak hesitated briefly and turned to me with a raised brow.

"I said only Companions can stay," The suggestion clear in his tone. "We could always use a new recruit. I'm sure this way, you may also make a little money on the side." The corners of Kodlak's eyes crinkled gently and he gave a soft smile. I saw no anger or frustration - just sadness. The feeling of guilt bubbled into my chest.

"I'll take her to - " Farkas started to speak but Vilkas butted in front of him.

"I'll take her for her test." He stated darkly. I watched him, though I may not be stronger - I could outsmart him.

Vilkas said nothing to me, he merely glared. "Come on," I tensed as he stepped up against me. "Let's test that sword arm of yours." He stated with a cruel smile. I balled up my fists - perhaps I should not have challenged this seasoned warrior.

Then again, it's my honor on the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to note real quick about a couple instances in the chapter.  
> 1\. When Alistair talks with the Giant that is based off her blood - as in her relation to the Snow Elves. Just an AU that snow elves can talk with certain creatures and have better affinities of giving a sense of peace
> 
> 2\. I always thought Heimskr was creepy, that whole shabang will be explained later, I promise
> 
> 3\. I always hated how Aela, Vilkas, Njada, and Torvar treated Farkas. And I feel like Farkas really is a "gentle giant" and lets them get away with it for one they've been doing it his whole life and two he knows them well (but he won't let anyone else get away with it.). I always thought it was rude, and with their personalities it isn't a far stretch in having them be a bit more over the top (granted that will change)
> 
> 4\. It was said one of the reasons Jorrvaskr was built near the eagle in Whiterun was because Snow Elves feared it, now what happened with Alistair will only happen a few times because she's half-blood but there will be times when she has problems with the eagle, not a lot though. it was more to just show her "strangeness".
> 
> 5\. Just a quick explanation of Alistair's sudden "sass", she always had the sass but she respects the crew a lot and for the most part tends to listen to Rowena, because for the most part Rowena knows what she's talking about and she has a great deal of patience with the crew for treating her like a child (much like Farkas in that sense), but anyone else and she will tear you to pieces with words.
> 
> Thanks you for your time! I hope you enjoy <3

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to explain a bit about how Alduin reacts. I had a canon that at the very beginning of the whole dragon worshiping, Alduin wasn't always so arrogant and didn't immediately call himself the World Eater. My idea is that he becomes a lot darker when some "traumatic" happened and basically that's when Alistair is taken from Alduin's side to live a bit longer on Earth until Akatosh believed her to be ready to return.
> 
> Translations (In Order):  
> Jul - Man  
> Joore Kendov - Mortal Warriors  
> Dov - Dragonkind  
> Unt Ontzos - Say again  
> Zuvir hinmaar - Repeat yourself  
> Zu'u lokaal hi - I love you  
> Zu’u lokaal hi, dii dovah - I love you, my dragon  
> Umriid - treasure


End file.
